The Shark Tank's Star Trek Reviews

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 2 Recap

2012-02-08T17:34:00.001-08:00

I’m not sure which is worse, the first or the second season. My money is on the second though. The first season is the rocky finding-its-feet season. TNG and DS9 both had it. Sadly this one still didn’t find its feet by the end of the second, and quite frankly still spends the bulk of the following season milling around as well.

Enterprise’s second season is a tiresome barrage of Archer getting caught and escaping from jail, and other tired old Star Trek clichés that just don’t work as well as they once did. The engine is shot, and the show can’t achieve warp anymore.

Season One may have struggled, but at least there were a couple half way decent episodes in there, this season has almost none at all. It is not a good sign when by the end of the second season you’ve already returned to the well for both Ferengi and Borg…

One nice thing…unlike the first season’s cliffhanger, I was actually somewhat more interested to see where the Xindi thing was gonna go at the end of this season, I could’ve cared less about the Temporal Cold War thing at the end of season one.

NEXT TIME: War in the Expanse

Earth is Attacked

2012-02-08T17:33:00.003-08:00

Story: The Expanse
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

This finale brings together a lot of the lingering plot threads of the past two years. Sadly all of the plot threads on Enterprise are pretty terrible and uninteresting. You got this Temporal Cold War that is as inane as it is boring, and you got these Klingon who want Archer in prison since “Judgement”...I’ve no idea why either thread has continued this far. The Temporal Cold War shouldn’t have made it out of “Shockwave, Part II”. The Klingon thing comes from one forgettable episode and continued in another disappointing episode. Why did they latch onto that lame thread? Anyhow this episode launches a whole new thread...an Arc that would sustain the whole of Season 3...the Xindi Arc.

A giant weapon comes to Earth and blows out a huge chunk of Florida, killing a whole load of people (including Trip’s sister). Enterprise is called home. But on their way home they encounter the Sulliban (ugh) who kidnap Archer and take him to see that Future Guy (ugh) who spins a boring tale about how Earth was attacked by the Xindi because some other faction from the Future told them that Earth would attack THEM 400 years in the future. Well the Xindi seem like gullible dicks huh? Then after Archer returns to Enterprise they are attacked by Duras and some Klingons because they still haven’t gotten over his escaping Rura Penthe. It is here purely to pad out the episode.

So often I find myself re-writing Enterprise. I would have obviously dropped the Temporal Cold War in “Shockwave,” or even sooner. I wouldn’t have even had the episode “Judgement”, which was completely pointless, let alone let it’s plot infect the plots of two other episodes. With this episode (which clearly got it’s premise from 9/11, what with the unprovoked unthinkable attack and all) I would have made the attackers not some new species in some goofy region of space...I would have called them “Romulans”. And I would have used episodes like “Minefield” to set up the Romulans not digging Earth or it’s people moving out into space...and this being their response.

That would set up season 3 as being a war not with the Xindi, but with the Romulans, a war first hinted at during this time frame in the Romulans first appearance in “Balance of Terror”. Leaving the reveal of the Romulans look a complete mystery to Enterprise or any allies involved in the war. Then Season 4 could easily be set up for the post-war events, with allies who have learned to love each other coming together over the course of the season to create the Federation.

I think this episode is decent enough, it does leave you wanting more in a way “Shockwave” didn’t, despite my reservations about what this episode failed on, I think it set up what was certainly a much more interesting season than the show had previously.

NEXT TIME: Enterprise Season 2 Recap

Tellarite

2012-02-08T17:33:00.001-08:00

Story: Bounty
Written By: Hans Tobeason and Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

“Bounty” is a disappointing first appearance for the Tellarites on Enterprise. They’ve barely been seen beyond the background since their first appearance in “Journey to Babel”, and since they are supposed to be founding members of the Federation, it seems like having a true first contact with humans would be a good idea...especially since they are such an entertaining argumentative bunch.

But no, Humans meet their first Tellarite, who pretends to be pleasant long enough to kidnap Archer...so he is YET AGAIN behind some kind of bars needing to escape for the bulk of the episode. The Tellarite is a bounty hunter looking to get the price put on Archer’s head since he escaped the Klingon penal colony at the end of “Judgement.” The only thing I can say for the episode is that it doesn’t make the Tellarite out to be a bad guy really, just doing his job for some scratch, he eventually does side with Archer, which sets the stage for Tellarites and Humans having a good working relationship.

I would’ve preferred a real first contact with Tellarites, show them to be the overbearing argumentative people they are and have Enterprise crew come to terms with that, learn to admire these people and learn they really aren’t bad guys...just sort of jerks, jerks they can be friends with! Sadly no one was bright enough to tell that tale.

Oh...and there is a b-plot of T’Pol having some kind of induced Pon Farr whic his there purely because the producers assumed the audience wanted some kind of sexy episode for their hot actress...but Pon Farr has so long been established to be for Vulcan males only. They try to get away with it by making it artificial...but it just felt like a forced excuse for a silly story that served no merit other than to have Blalock act sexy. Lame.

Weak episode all around.

NEXT TIME: Xindi

A.G. Robinson

2012-02-08T17:32:00.005-08:00

Story: First Flight
Written By: John Shiban & Chris Black
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

When Archer learns that one of his friends (and sort of friendly rival) has died, he reflects on a memory of his relationship with this man. The story he tells is basically of earlier test flights in the NX program, in which he, Trip, and this man Robinson…where all involved in. It is actually a pretty good story, of how these guys worked there asses off to get their warp drive working properly despite the Vulcans being somewhat overbearing and putting down their efforts.

I think the writing is solid, and the acting is engaging. It helps that for the most part, our cast is primarily focusing on two of the better actors in the main cast (Bakula and Trinneer), and has a good guest casting in Keith Carradine. All in all this one is not too bad, and it gives us a little bit of backstory for this series in particular, and the struggles of making their ships work properly (Jesus THAT could have been solid new idea for a Trek prequel…).

Definitely one of the better stories, especially of this season.

NEXT TIME: Archer Captured

The Borg Episode

2012-02-08T17:32:00.003-08:00

Story: Regeneration
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

“Regeneration” is another continuity problem in Enterprise. It is the Borg episode…a well that had more than run dry by the end of Voyager’s run…the producers and writers decided that one last romp could be done. You see the Borg were great in TNG because in the whole of that series run they had only done 6 episodes. SIX. Somehow after only 6 episodes they had this reputation of being totally badass and the greatest foe in the show. That’s because back then the writers were pretty smart, they knew that having an enemy that really works as a dramatic and scary foe, they had to only show up once in a while. When they are introduced the only way to save the crew of the Enterprise is for Picard to beg Q to send them back home. “Best of Both Worlds” comes up with a really unique and clever way to stop the Borg, and it is pulled off really well. Then we get things like Hugh in “I, Borg”, which doesn’t really have the Borg as a major threat, and then “Descent (1 & 2)” which gives a whole new twist on their story.

So you see the Borg worked well AT FIRST because they were a rare occurrence, definitely scary when they showed up, but rare nonetheless. Voyager milked them for all they were worth in 20 odd episodes that made defeating them seem like child’s play. Then we get all the way to Enterprise…which quite frankly has been limping through most of this season (both in terms of storytelling and audience viewing figures, and they decide to bring back the once big ratings winner. But the Borg threat does not become known to the Federation until TNG season 2, and despite their traveling back in time in “Star Trek: First Contact,” Braga and Moore were actually quite clever in keeping the Borg plotline contained on the Enterprise, as to not really screw-up the timeline too much.

Here we discover that some Borg pod escaped and made it’s way to Earth, frozen in the artic since the events of “First Contact”. That in itself is not a terrible idea; I mean it could happen...I buy it. What I don’t buy is that people in this time keep such shitty records. They met the Ferengi…no visual record from their invasion of their ship? No evidence of what they do or are like? Seriously? Now we meet the Borg, and despite the writers being careful in both episodes to not have our villains expose their names…there is enough evidence for records for Starfleet to eventually be more ready for these races and the potential threat they pose.

I’ll give credit where credit is due; the episode isn’t all that bad. It is actually kind of entertaining. I think it has some decent action, good visual effects and some good ideas…I just don’t think it was entirely necessary.

It is just further proof that Berman and Braga were not the guys to head up a show that is about how TOS came to be. Who should have been in charge? Ronald D. Moore. Seriously, look at his track record in Trek. He is a great writer (one of the best of the franchise) and his work on things like “Trials and Tribble-ations” proves that being a TOS fan through and through would have made him perfect to run a show about how that world came to be. Alas Braga helped shove Moore away from the franchise during Moore’s really brief stint at Voyager, so Moore moved on (and his version of Battlestar Galactica is one of the best things to happen to sci-fi, so I’m kind of glad he did move on from Trek). I just think Moore would have been a better fit for a prequel, he gets TOS, Berman and Braga are a better fit for working on series post-TNG…and that’s why they never really did that good of a job of making this show seem like a prequel, but more of the same.

NEXT TIME: NX Test Flights

Three Genders

2012-02-08T17:32:00.001-08:00

Story: Cogenitor
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

This is a solid episode with an interesting idea. I’m actually surprised Berman and Braga wrote it, because most of their ideas and episodes SUCK. Luckily I think they found a unique concept and the fact that it focuses primarily on Tucker (meaning Trinneer gets a good chunk of screen time over any of our other characters) only helped the episode sell me on its interesting concept.

So basically we meet this new group of aliens, and for once in this show…it doesn’t automatically lead to hostilities (it is sad when you are shocked by that, and the writers even make a point of having Tucker point out that it is an odd occurrence…show was too xenophobic). So anyhow we meet this alien race, and learn about their culture. Tucker takes an interest in the fact that they have three genders: Male, female, and cogenitors. The cogenitors make up a very small portion of the population, but actually are completely necessary in the birth process. So since they are so slim in the population, they are actually used sort of like slaves, treated like second-class citizens and have no names or education. This of course troubles Tucker, who is a pretty human and passionate guy.

I like that while Tucker’s intentions in trying to change this situation are certainly in the right place, it is made clear by Archer in the end that interfering with this other culture was a big mistake. It is not their place to judge, it isn’t their place to put their ideals ahead of another race’s…especially when they were actually friendly upon first contact.

It raises some interesting issues, and I think it has a solid performance from Trinneer (who is easily in the top 3 actors of the main cast, along with Bakula and Billingsley), and I really liked the scene where Archer tells Trip he was wrong. I thought both gave damn good performances.

NEXT TIME: Continuity

Phlox Treats a Racist

2012-02-08T17:31:00.004-08:00

Story: The Breach
Written By: Chris Black & John Shiban
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Denobulans ask Enterprise to rescue three of their geologists off of a planet which has declared all off-worlders leave with in 72 hours. Tucker, Reed, and Travis go down to the planet to retrieve them, while Enterprise helps a ship that was crashing onto the planet (or something). One of the wounded happens to be the former bitter enemy of the Denobulans who sees Phlox as a war criminal.

It is sort of an episode that tries to be an allegory on racism. It is pretty standard fare for that subject matter. I’ve seen the Trek story about two races that hate each other and learning to move forward before.

Nothing new here at all, I’m not asking for groundbreaking episodes, I’d just like solid stories that don’t feel stale.

NEXT TIME: Vissians

Travis Goes Home

2012-02-08T17:31:00.002-08:00

Story: Horizon
Written By: André Bormanis
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Boring and forgettable episode shows Travis, our fully uninteresting and undeveloped helmsmen, returning to the ship he grew up on...the Horizon. He discovers just before he heads there that his father has died, which is unfortunate since he left for Enterprise on bad terms. So he spends his time on his old home reuniting with people and learning about himself along the way.

The episode is an attempt to expand on a character the writers overlooked since day one, Travis Mayweather. Why they overlooked him entirely I have no idea, unless they really wanted to try and capture the way the old show was (with really just Kirk, Spock, and McCoy getting any development), but this series just gave less screen time to the supporting cast, but you had a vague sense of who Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, and Uhura was. I’m not saying they were really deep characters, but they had something...Travis could be played by any extra! His lines are interchangeable with any other castmember, and he has no character whatsoever.

This episode should have changed that, but despite being almost entirely focused on him, it still felt in the end like he had no character to explore. He was a cardboard cutout, put on the bridge to deliver the occasional line and drive the ship. This episode didn’t add anything to his character, and it just felt like everyone involved just slept through this one.

Shame, they had a chance to finally do something new with Travis, hell do anything at all! But they squandered that chance and kept the character as dull and uninteresting as possible.

NEXT TIME: Xenophobic

Klingon Penal System

2012-02-08T17:31:00.000-08:00

Story: Judgment
Written By: David A. Goodman
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

You know what this season needed? An episode in which Archer is wrongfully detained and needs to make a daring escape! Not enough of that this season.

This episode is completely unnecessary. We saw both a Klingon court and Rura Penthe in Star Trek 6, why do we revisit both of these ideas for a completely dull and unoriginal story? Not too mention I think it uses the Klingons poorly in this time period. We meet Kolos (a Klingon defending Archer), played by the always-wonderful J.G. Hertzler. He basically is a guy who is beaten down by the degeneration of his culture into a warrior race. But that is totally wrong. The Klingons were always warriors; it is in their blood, their culture…that is who they are. The issue with Klingons wasn’t that they had somehow degenerated into a warrior race; it was that they had lost their honor. I don’t think it was necessary to see the root of that corruption. I mean power corrupts, it is a no-brainer.

Plus I think having Archer get to know a nice Klingon and see that they aren’t all bad doesn’t serve the show too well. We all know Klingons aren’t all bad when you get to know them, because that was explored TO DEATH on both TNG and DS9. We know that now, so lets get to see how they had become such bitter rivals of the Federation, lets see the real root of their long-standing cold war. I mean in TOS they are nothing but enemies, and by the final few years of DS9 they are nothing if not the best of allies. So lets see how their lack of true contact lead to the long standing conflict between the two.

I guess my problem here is that from Star Trek VI, TNG, and DS9…we’ve had a chance to really explore Klingons and see them up close and personal. We all know how they came to peace, we’ve seen their struggles with political corruption, and with Martok instilled as Chancellor at the end of DS9 we’ve seen them finally on the path to truly being honorable from the top down. So now we have this prequel, and we have this chance to see how things got so messed up in these early days that it lead to a cold war that lasted generations. That is an area I’d love to have seen explored, but every Klingon story has just been mindless dull crap…and we get stuff like this, where we just steal scene after scene and set piece after set piece from “The Undiscovered Country”. Lame.

NEXT TIME: A Mayweather Episode?

Non-Corporeal

2012-02-08T17:30:00.003-08:00

Story: The Crossing
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Enterprise is swallowed up by a big ship inhabited by non-corporeal lifeforms. They inhabit Tucker, and even though they allow him to return to his body and let the ship go...Archer still smells something fishy. Because they are an alien, and this show is fairly xenophobic in it’s first few seasons, much the way Voyager was. Tucker even enjoyed the experience and thought others should enjoy it.

But the Enterprise crew refuses to participate with this possession/mind switch game, so the non-corporeal beings decide to do it by force, because they aliens, and this show is fairly xenophobic in it’s first few seasons.

I hate that all aliens are hostile. This could have easily been a fascinating story about the crew experiencing this new form of life, while these non-corporeal beings experience having a bod for the first time in centuries (since they evolved beyond that). But no...they are some bad guys as always. Very anti-Trek.

Fuck both Berman and Braga for constantly pretending they were holding up the grand vision of Roddenberry (a grand vision I find to be bullshit anyhow) but constantly missing the point in the meantime. Beyond being a bad example of Trek...it is also boring as hell.

NEXT TIME: Archer Convicted by the Klingons

Enolian

2012-02-08T17:30:00.001-08:00

Story: Canamar
Written By: John Shiban
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

This episode features Archer and Tucker being wrongfully imprisoned. Holy hell. I mean seriously? How often can they throw Archer behind bars in one season? Once again there is no real story here, it just starts off with them wrongfully imprisoned and we are forced to once again not see how they got in this situation. They just are...can they escape?!

I for one stopped caring about this kind of story. This is really only the second or third time this season, but it happens at least 3 or 4 more times. It is just not that interesting a story, as it isn’t a variation on some thoughtful science fiction idea or interesting social issue...it is just some dumb action plot about arrest and escape.

So I’m not into this or any of the other dull action stories this season. Pathetic writing in this series, just the laziest bunch of scripts possible.

NEXT TIME: Body Stealing

Crash Landing

2012-02-08T17:07:00.001-08:00

Story: Future Tense
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Enterprise finds a small craft adrift in space. The take it aboard and when the open it up, find a long since dead human. This would mean that they are not the first humans out this far...which leads to a big mystery, who is this person? Could it be Zefram Cochrane? If not then who? Trip and Reed then discover the ship is bigger on the inside...making it all even more mysterious.

Both the Tholians and the Suliban come to claim the ship. Screw the Suliban, I wanna see the Tholians, making their first appearance since the original series...and they are never seen outside their ship. Kind of lame. I’ve seen the Suliban, and they suck. Tholians are vastly overlooked, and some time travel hint of the Temporal Cold War junk gets thrown in instead.

The episode is a little disappointing, because it’s mystery is fascinating, but it doesn’t hold your interest. At least it didn’t hod mine. I really want to like Enterprise, honest, but it is so difficult to get into this series.

Oh god and the amount of times in Trek I’ve heard “they are doing this” followed by “lock them out” and quickly replied with “I can’t!” is ridiculous! Starfleet needs vastly better security systems, from the 22nd century all the way onto the 24th.

NEXT TIME: Another Penal Colony

Andorians and Vulcans

2012-02-08T16:15:00.003-08:00

Story: Cease Fire
Written By: Chris Black
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Andorians and Vulcans have long battled over this terraformed Class D Planet. Shran calls for Archer by name to help end the situation, having had good involvements with him and Vulcan situations before.

We have a solid situation, a reasonable plot (Archer as Arbiter reminds me of when Picard was chosen to help pick a new Chancellor for the Klingons...it makes sense in context really), and having both Soval and Shran with Archer trying to come to a compromise actually works well. I really liked the conversation between Archer and Phlox about what this ship might really be out there for. Too bad it doesn’t really focus on negotiations...it would have been great dialogue and everything.

Unfortunately not all Andorians or Vulcans want a compromise, and there lends to the well conceived drama. This episode doesn’t really entirely accomplish what it sets out to do though...I would’ve liked the episode to be a two-parter really, to continue on after the fire fight ending to actually show the tough negotiations at work. Shame that this series decided to always choose the action ending over the dramatic ending.

Interestingly, I often side with the Andorians on Enterprise. Vulcans are total assholes on this series, often to the point where they seem illogical. Shran is the man too....best character Enterprise produced, it would have been great if the series had gotten a fifth season, because it was hinted that Shran would become a main cast member...that would’ve been excellent. We only get the last scene really...which has a lovely moment of a drink to their mutual dissatisfaction.

My final verdict would be that the episode is strong by Enterprise’s standards, but it has issues I feel TNG or DS9 would’ve avoided.

NEXT TIME: Tholians

T’Pol’s Disease

2012-02-08T16:15:00.001-08:00

Story: Stigma
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Following the mind meld she was forced into in the episode “Fusion”, T’Pol apparently developed a neural disorder, that has a sort of stigma to it based on the taboo nature of mind melds at this point in Vulcan history.

It is sort of written as an analogue to the HIV stigma. I appreciate what Berman and Braga were doing with this episode, even if it feels 20 years late. Why didn’t you guys write this story during TNG? Despite being pretty late to the game, they did a solid job. See? I can be fair to these two morons when they don’t just phone it in.

The B-plot involving Phlox’s wife clearly flirting with Tucker is kind of funny I guess, but not really all that needed. But it doesn’t detract from the main storyline too much, so I’ll give it a pass.

Solid entry, despite it’s social issue plot being a little late compared to when the actual HIV stigma issue. I’m not saying there isn’t still a bit of a stigma related to HIV, but it is definitely not what it was in the 80s.

NEXT TIME: Archer Plays Arbiter

Desolate Moon

2012-02-08T15:50:00.004-08:00

Story: Dawn
Written By: John Shiban
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2003

Tucker gets attacked and his shuttle crashes on a planet, and he is forced to play “Enemy Mine” with the alien that attacked him, and hoping to be rescued before dawn when the planet will become uninhabitable. It is yet another premise that has been both done before, seems like it could be interesting, but still feels stale and worn out.

Trek, and Enterprise, needed a breath of fresh air, but the people behind it just weren’t getting the job done. It feels like well-worn territory all the time and as if there is really nowhere new to explore. But just from the few occasions the show hit the right marks in Season 4 I feel as if there was at least 6 years of material that was squandered in the first 3 years.

This is just another weak and fairly unmemorable episode in the pantheon of weak episodes Enterprise has to offer.

NEXT TIME: Taboo Illness

Eight Days in a Nacelle

2012-02-08T15:50:00.002-08:00

Story: The Catwalk
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

About to be consumed into a neutronic storm, and is warned so by an alien, they take the alien aboard and the entire crew is forced up into the one place they can be protected...in a nacelle. It is an interesting premise, but I once again wish it had done more with the material.

Why do I always feel as if the show is only about meeting bad aliens. The Original Show was so much more. Not everything has to have a villain, sometimes a threat should be nature itself. But the aliens of course pose a sort of threat here, because this show is xenophobic and anti-Trek until the fourth and final season.

I would’ve liked a show about the stress eight days of in confined spaces. But these writers are too lazy to do a bottle show that actually focuses on character development...how will character development end in a phaser fight?

Shame, this series always takes the laziest route possible.

NEXT TIME: Tucker Crashes

Kaitaama

2012-02-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

Story: Precious Cargo
Written By: David A. Goodman
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Enterprise rescues some aliens, and they have some weird package, which Trip accidentally opens to find a bitchy irritating princess or queen or something. It isn't all that interesting a premise, and the princess character is just so painful to sit through that the whole episode really does feel like a torture session.

It also feels rather pointless in the long run...but then again, so does the bulk of Enterprise. What is the point of this episode? What is the point of a series that is meant to be a prequel constantly avoiding the subject of acting like a prequel to anything? It took until Season 4 until this show even really began to address it’s own premise.

One of the worst episodes of the series, which is really saying something. I personally found this one to be excruciatingly aggravating. Ugh.

NEXT TIME: Neutronic Storm

Transporter

2012-02-08T15:49:00.003-08:00

Story: Vanishing Point
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Hoshi apparently fears the transporter. So naturally when she gets in one for the first time she has the notion that she is invisible to the rest of the crew. It has gone drastically wrong! She also thinks that two aliens are planting bombs all over the ship. Her madness seems really realistic, until she is eventually beamed back onto the ship...and is told she has only been in the buffer for like 10 seconds. What a twist!

It is an okay episode, but again the show feels dull and lacks the level of character and interest to keep it kicking from beginning to end. It is just a lackluster series, and this episode is just more evidence on the increasingly large pile.

NEXT TIME: Girl in a Box

Black Hole

2012-02-08T15:49:00.001-08:00

Story: Singularity
Written By: Chris Black
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

As the Enterprise comes closer to a black hole, they each become increasingly obsessed with trivial matters. Trip becomes obsessed with fixing the Captain’s Chair after Archer requests him to do so (which was quite refreshing because I was constantly irked that he doesn’t know how to SIT like a human being, this explained why). Archer becomes obsessed with writing a biography of his father. Reed is obsessed with creating what essentially becomes the “Red Alert”. Phlox obsessed with performing medical procedures on Travis (cause fuck Travis!). Hoshi becomes obsessed with her cooking while filling in for Chef. Some of it is rather entertaining, but the crew is in grave danger as they get closer to the black hole.

Archer is helped by T’Pol in piloting the ship out of a debris field and the whole crew is saved! It is a somewhat simple fix, but I’ll give it a pass because the episode was at least entertaining on the whole. Much more than I can say on average for this show.

NEXT TIME: Beamed

High Tech

2012-02-08T13:54:00.001-08:00

Story: The Communicator
Written By: André Bormanis
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

After returning from his first visit to a pre-warp society, Reed discovers he has lost his communicator. He and Archer have to return to the planet to try and find it, because that is a huge no-no. This is actually fairly similar to what was the end of “A Piece of the Action” when McCoy fears he may have left his communicator on the mobster planet. So they head down there but the inhabitants of the planet have already found the device, and the fact that the planet is in it’s own sort of World War II kind of situation doesn’t help things.

Once again Archer and Friend are captured and jailed. I really wish this show didn’t constantly rely on the same old tropes. I mean how often can you throw the lead in jail before you finally tire of rewriting the same script over and over again? Not the worst of the show, certainly watchable...but it definitely feels a little bit...been there done that.

There are good point too...Tucker cloaking his arm, the conclusion in which T’Pol points out you don’t have to leave anything behind to contaminate a culture is pretty solid...and I definitely found this one to be more watchable on the whole.

NEXT TIME: Trivial Pursuit

Menos

2012-02-08T13:30:00.001-08:00

Story: The Seventh
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

T’Pol is being sent on a secret mission, one that sends Enterprise off course with little explanation. T’Pol is sent to finally capture a fugitive that had eluded her years before. She asks for Archer’s assistance on this mission as well. On the ship, Tucker plays Captain while she and Archer are away. Oh and Travis is on this mission for some reason, but he doesn’t do anything (as per usual) so it hardly matters where he tags along.

The fugitive makes passionate pleas of his innocence but T’Pol’s job is only to bring him in, not sentence him. They also prove his guilt before the episode ends. I don’t care or give a shit at all. This series’ characters are so damn wooden I could care less about anything they do...because if they don’t emote why should I?

So it is another stunning bore from the people behind Enterprise, Berman and Braga. Who hired these guys? Oh yeah...Gene...

NEXT TIME: Leaving Tech Behind

Fight For Yourself

2012-02-08T12:44:00.001-08:00

Story: Marauders
Written By: David Wilcox
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

This episode has Arch and Co. meeting a group of helpless humanoids who have to play “A Bug’s Life” to some Klingons who show up and demand all their deuterium. Enterprise decides they want some of that deuterium, and since they are at least gonna give these people something, they will teach them to defend themselves and fight back when the Klingons return.

It is a decent enough idea to make a Star Trek version of the Seven Samurai, but it just falls flat and feels as boring as Enterprise usually does. This show lacks the entertaining characters to make most episodes feel anything more than mediocre. There is none of those great character moments that TOS, TNG, or DS9 had so often achieved (and with gusto too).

Decent premise, boring execution...in other words: standard Enterprise.

NEXT TIME: Top-Secret Vulcan Mission

Porthos

2012-02-08T12:33:00.001-08:00

Story: A Night in Sickbay
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

For some stupid reason Archer brought his dog on an away mission, a mission in which Archer insulted the very people they went down to meet. Now the dog is stuck in sickbay because it may have some virus or something. I don’t care. Who brings a dog on an away mission? What the hell is the fucking matter with Berman and Braga. I swear they are the absolute worst writers this franchise ever had.

So the episode is basically about Archer just trying to hang out with his sick dog. I might have found this interesting if they just came up with a legit reason for the dog to be sick, instead of being lazy and making it some alien virus. LAZY. And he doesn’t sleep well and gets all weird about this apology he has to make and T’Pol and stuff.

At least some of the Phlox pet stuff is entertaining. Overall, I just didn’t care for this one, it’s premise, or Archer or Porthos’ plight.

NEXT TIME: Fighting the Klingons

Mechanic

2012-02-07T11:26:00.001-08:00

Story: Dead Stop
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Still reeling from the minefield explosion that severely damaged the ship in the previous episode, Enterprise won’t be able to get back to Jupiter Station for repairs for 10 years, based on their present location and how fast they can travel. So Archer decides it’s Enterprise’s turn to put out a general distress call. The call is answered by some unseen Tellarites who give them coordinates to a repair station.

The repair station seems too good to be true, able to fix everything wrong with the ship in less than two days, it even has a recreation area for the crew during the repairs, has replicators for food and even heal Malcolm’s leg wound! All for just 200 liters of warp plasma.

But Archer suspects something fishy in the air. Especially after Travis dies during the repairs. Of course he isn’t really dead, the repair station stole him and replaced him with a dead duplicate. Oh no! They’ve stolen our most valuable member! Extra who flies the ship!

They of course retrieve Travis and destroy the station after delivering their warp plasma...and escape after the station, which was obviously “killing” several people from ships it repaired and storing the real bodies for some reason. They only seem to save Travis though, kind of weird. Huzzah for our heroes. I did like the final moments with the station repairing itself.

Decent episode, but sometimes I kind of want to see the heroes proven wrong. They always get hunches out of nowhere and are always proven right. Wouldn’t be nice if they were thinking the worst but got the best, and actually learn to trust other species and things in order to not feel like such a xenophobic show?

NEXT TIME: Sick as a Dog

Mysterious Enemy

2012-02-07T10:12:00.001-08:00

Story: Minefield
Written By: John Shiban
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Enterprise enters a minefield (hence the title) set up by a mysterious enemy known as the Romulans. It is pretty cool how they managed to work in the Romulans without breaking the rules and showing the Romulans TO the Enterprise crew.

Essentially one of these mines gets attached to the ship and Malcolm goes out to diffuse it, but gets trapped under. It is actually a fairly decent episode, with the Romulans involved (although not seen beyond their ship) it is pretty cool..not to mention the mines are cloaked...neat idea.

I rather enjoyed this episode, it is vastly better than the two episodes that preceded this season (both “Shockwave, Part II” and “Carbon Creek” were godawful). There was nice character development for Reed, and Archer gets to know him a little better through this situation.

Definitely a step up for this season, but it sadly doesn’t last.

NEXT TIME: Too Good To Be True

T’Pol’s Story

2012-02-07T09:54:00.003-08:00

Story: Carbon Creek
Written By: Chris Black
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

What a boring episode. Just as dull as you can imagine. During their annual officer’s dinner, T’Pol tells Archer and Trip a tale of three Vulcans that were once trapped on Earth while they were meant to be observing.

Essentially it is a non-entertaining, unfunny version of the movie of “Coneheads”. They are trapped in a mining town, and while one or two attempt to adapt to their lifestyle, one is adamant that they try not to interfere, keep with their emotionless Vulcan roots, and that they will get back home some day.

Three Vulcans are totally uninteresting together on screen, no emotion, monotone voices, very little to grab onto as fun or entertaining in this one…and the fact that it is sort of blurred as to whether or not anything actually happened or no gives it less credibility, and I am even more confused as to why they decided to make a boring episode that barely features any of our main characters. On top of that I hated that the Vulcans invent Velcro…weird and bad all around.

NEXT TIME: Romulans

Wrong Time Frame

2012-02-07T09:54:00.001-08:00

Story: Shockwave, Part II
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Some may have found the pace and action of the first part at the end of season 1 to be a good sign of things to come in Enterprise…unfortunately this episode doesn’t even have the excitement or pace of that first episode. Enterprise now gets back on the old “is it really going anywhere” path.

Seriously, it continues with the bad plot of the Temporal Cold War, gives us more of Daniels and the Suliban, both of which don’t come close to thrilling me…and on top of all that it moves like a snail.

It is a terrible episode, and an unfortunate start to a season that had a lot to recover from after a struggling first season.

NEXT TIME: Vulcan’s Trapped in a Mining Town

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 1 Recap

2012-02-07T09:53:00.007-08:00

The first season is rocky. It is hit or miss. But the real issue here is one of shear boredom. The stories or mundane, the characters are totally uninteresting, and at this point you have this general feeling that Star Trek is worn out.

Much like Voyager, the whole idea was that it would be completely different, but the ultimate problem is that it is just more of the same. Voyager tried to be different by pitting Federation against Maquis and stranding them in a whole new quadrant of the galaxy. But saying the setting is different and just retelling the same old story with new faces is just a waste of time.

Enterprise attempted to be a whole new brand of different, this time it is Pre-Kirk. But there was a huge contradiction in the point of the series, it tried to act as if it was completely different by using a back-to-basics approach…but Voyager was pretty much employing the same format as both TOS and TNG…so having Enterprise just do that same thing isn’t different at all.

Of all the spin-offs, DS9 is the most unique. It tried something different by actually BEING different. Enterprise is more of the same, and much like Voyager before, it lacks interesting central characters to make the show enjoyable when the story is weak. TNG could have bad episodes quite often, but sometimes they were still ultimately enjoyable because Data and Geordi, or Worf or Picard would have some great character moment that would make us have that “I can’t stay mad at you” feeling.

Enterprise had a lot of potential, and the idea of saying “okay we’ve exhausted our efforts in the 24th century lets try something new” is noble and bold…but they fell into old patterns quick, they have a Ferengi episode! Ferengi! They were totally unknown pre-TNG and now they can just WALTZ in and be in the prequel. I usually don’t get too uptight about continuity things like this, but it just felt like a big mistake this time.

The main cast is also hit or miss. Blalock is pretty bad as a Vulcan, and doesn’t really improve until the third season. So often she makes the mistake many have made, that Vulcan means boring. Spock was never boring, but most actors play the species as completely emotionless...but they aren’t emotionless...they just suppress their emotions. Bakula is good, but you can often tell he is just as puzzled by the stories as the audience is...I don’t blame him. Trineer and Billingsley both give their all very often, and prove to be interesting characters in spite of the lack of character development. Keating, Park, and Montgomery are often overlooked and their characters are fairly uninteresting and unknown.

So Enterprise begins, and it will maintain this level of quality for the bulk of it’s run...only beginning to get truly on the right track until Season 4. It’s a long haul.

NEXT TIME: Timed Out

The Effects of Time Travel

2012-02-07T09:53:00.005-08:00

Story: Shockwave
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Up to this point, this was the culmination of the whole “Temporal Cold War” thing. As I am not a big fan of that arc or idea at all, I find little to get excited about in this cliffhanging finale. I think the episode has enough action to sustain your interest…but as I think the time travel meltdown stuff is clearly going to be to easily solved in the follow-up, it was tough for me to get excited about the cliffhanger.

So if you are like me, and you think Daniels is one of the dullest and most uninteresting of characters, and the Suliban are silly and just as uninteresting, and the Temporal Cold War is pointless and inane…you will no doubt agree that this episode is nothing to get to excited about.

NEXT TIME: Enterprise Season 1 Recap

The First Trip to Risa

2012-02-07T09:53:00.003-08:00

Story: Two Days and Two Nights
Written By: Chris Black
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Risa was/is/always will be a gross planet. Ira Stephen Behr created it…a writer I usually love for his contributions to DS9…but in trying to showcase sex in the future he failed miserably. The idea that a planet is out there in which everyone goes off to bang is simultaneously sad and creepy.

So how is this episode? Compared to the average Risa episode it is actually not horrendous. It is still average and I have little interest in seeing it again, but it is just a regular Enterprise episode…average to mediocre at best.

Risa is a bad creation, this episode doesn’t really help it, but it certainly didn’t do any more damage that “Let He Who is Without Sin...” didn’t already do.

NEXT TIME: Return of Daniels

Zobral

2012-02-07T09:53:00.001-08:00

Story: Desert Crossing
Written By: André Bormanis
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Archer and Trip are invited under false pretenses to hang out with some alien guy. After playing some beach volleyball with them, they discover that he didn’t just want to play some volleyball, he also happens to be considered a terrorist in a war who just wants to borrow Enterprise to bring down his enemies. Oh crap.

Tucker and Archer are then forced to escape through the desert. If you’ve ever seen a movie we’re people are forced to crawl through the hot desert and crave water...then you’ve seen “Desert Crossing”.

It is decent enough I guess...if you are judging by Enterprise standards...but it is nothing terribly special in the World of Trek. Surprise, surprise.

NEXT TIME: Yuck...Risa…

V’Lar

2012-02-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

Story: Fallen Hero
Written By: Alan Cross
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Enterprise is asked to pick up some famous Vulcan diplomat. When they get there they find she is not just needed off the planet...she is being accused of some criminal misconduct. T’Pol is clearly weirded out by it all. She seems like a cool lady, but there is something off about her. Enterprise is soon attacked and Archer is forced to deal with whether to trust this lady or not.

I’d like to say I was interested in this one, but again I am forced to admit I was not. I even tried watching it a second time to see if maybe I misjudged it before, but it still felt pretty boring. Everything has a distinct average taste about it.

NEXT TIME: Geskana

The Needs of the One

2012-02-07T08:30:00.001-08:00

Story: Vox Sola
Written By: Fred Dekker
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

After a dreadful encounter with some aliens who storm off the ship, Enterprise is soon invaded by an unknown entity that begins to attack crew members and suck them up in some sort of web.

All action against the creature seems to fail, and only Hoshi has the talent to communicate with the creature and get it to stop, despite not doing so hot with the aliens that stormed off. She has to prove herself after screwing up. Standard little tale.

The Hoshi/T’Pol mini-feud thing felt a little forced and unnecessary, especially considering it came out of left field. No idea where that came from, I don’t recall them ever having any kind of contact before this, so why Hoshi feels T’Pol has been breathing down her neck I don’t know.

It is an okay episode with some solid character interactions before it hits with some decent horror/action stuff. I enjoyed it enough, I’m never terribly impressed with Enterprise episodes in the first few seasons, but sometimes I enjoy the episodes more than usual.

NEXT TIME: Vulcan Ambassador

Grat

2012-02-07T07:02:00.001-08:00

Story: Detained
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

The biggest selling point to “Detained” is that it reunited Scott Bakula with his former co-star on Quantum Leap (a show that is much better than Enterprise on the whole), Dean Stockwell. That is pretty cool...because Dean Stockwell is a great actor (beyond Qauntum Leap, he was fantastic in Battlestar Galactica).

So Archer and Travis (woah Travis is still in the cast?) end up in this prison run by Al, who consults Ziggy and tells Sam that he needs to fix what once went wrong, and make this new Trek series much better. Unfortunately Sam is affected by the “Swiss Cheese” effect and has trouble remembering that by the end of the episode. When he once again Leaps back into Archer.

Really the episode is a decent enough story, which works best when it has scenes between the former co-stars. Grat is cool enough. But the episode also features the Suliban in this prison, and they suck something awful. But it does teach Travis to not judge to quickly, sure their dealings with the Suliban have been major a pain in the ass thus far, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be treated right, and shouldn’t be wrongfully imprisoned.

Beyond how neat it is to see Stockwell and Bakula back together again...the episode isn't the best thing in the world. Certainly not awful, but it isn't going to go (once again) beyond average.

NEXT TIME: Lone Voice

Ezral and Liana

2012-02-07T06:44:00.003-08:00

Story: Oasis
Written By: Stephen Beck
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

This episode is pretty much a rehash of a DS9 episode, “Shadowplay”…hell it even has Rene Auberjonois. It has Enterprise finding a crashed ship on a deserted planet, only to find the ship has a colony of people. Turns out all the people are holograms except for Ezral (Auberjonois) and his daughter. The only difference between the two episodes is that this one isn’t as good…and “Shadowplay” is only average by DS9 standards…so this one being average by Enterprise standards makes it exponentially less entertaining.

I did enjoy having a DS9 actor appearing, but it just wasn’t enough to make this episode worthwhile, especially when “Shadowplay” is already out there. So skip this one, if you want to see what this story can be, watch the DS9 episode instead.

NEXT TIME: Quantum Leap Reunion

Pre-TNG Ferengi

2012-02-07T06:44:00.001-08:00

Story: Acquisition
Written By: Maria & André Jacquemetton
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Goddamnit. Federation eyes first saw the Ferengi in TNG’s first season. That is non-disputable! And despite the writers having Tellarites, Andorians, Vulcans, Klingons, and Romulans to explore in this show…they decide to just go back to what is familiar for them, and rehash the Ferengi in this pretty terrible episode.

The only thing it does is have Tucker run around in his underwear (for the ladies), and wastes the talents of Clint Howard and Jeffrey Combs, and even Ethan Phillips (who by this point has made a whole career out of being wasted on Trek). Our main cast is mostly incapacitated so they don’t do much, and it adds nothing about the Ferengi we didn’t already know.

It kind of gives you the feeling this crew kept some shitty logs, why were the Ferengi completely unknown when the Enterprise-D first encountered them in the 24th Century? Why is there no photographic evidence of them? Does this ship have no security cameras AT ALL?

The episode wasn’t fun or clever or interesting, and it just left you feeling like this wasn’t any bold new take on Trek at all, as Berman and Braga liked to exclaim, but it was just more of the same from the 24th Century Trek Era, the only thing these guys knew how to do.

NEXT TIME: Shadowplay – The Remake

Eternal Night

2012-02-07T06:43:00.001-08:00

Story: Rogue Planet
Written By: Chris Black
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

Enterprise encounters a rogue planet broken from it’s orbit. It is heated internally and is eternally night. Some kind of ship is on the planet, so they decide to investigate. They meet three hunters, who want the lesser lifeforms on the planet, but none of the higher primates.

Archer then sees some foxy lady on the planet who calls his name, no one believes him, then he sees again...it’s mysterious!

I don’t know I didn’t really see the point of the episode or find it all that interesting. I don’t even see how this could’ve been interesting. It feels almost like it was designed to be an average episode.

NEXT TIME: Raiding the Ship

Embracing Emotions

2012-02-07T05:40:00.003-08:00

Story: Fusion
Written By: Phyllis Strong & Mike Sussman
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

This episode has some fascinating idea, but most of them don’t pay off until the third or fourth season. The Enterprise comes across a ship filled with Vulcans who have been outcast because they embrace their emotions and the taboo idea of mind melds. I think it was an interesting move to show the Vulcans as even more conservative than they are in previous shows.

It is one of the few episodes that not only raises interesting issues AND implants something that will pay off later and marks a slight change in a character. It is T’Pol who is definitely affected by her encounter with the Vulcans, and one day we will finally see by how much. It takes a while for this to pay off, but when it does, I think it was fairly successful.

NEXT TIME: Archer’s Mysterious Lady

Tucker and Reed

2012-02-07T05:40:00.001-08:00

Story: Shuttlepod One
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

This episode is a bottle show, meaning that it uses only existing sets and effects (for the most part) to save some money. Bottle shows can be hit or miss, some rise to the challenge of the limitations and really churn out a great story based more on character than plot, and others fall flat by trying to tell a story beyond the limitations.

Luckily “Shuttlepod One” turns out to fit the former category…something rare in Enterprise. It manages to be interesting. The Tucker and Reed trapped in a shuttlepod in an asteroid field story is very successful, and it manages to have some good character interactions between the two, decent dialogue and a legitimate plot device.

Less successful is the story on the Enterprise, which is about as standard Enterprise as you can get in terms of character interactions: boring and forgettable.

NEXT TIME: Outcast Vulcans

Return of the Andorians

2012-02-07T05:39:00.000-08:00

Story: Shadows of P'Jem
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

The result of the Andorians learning about the spy station at the P’Jem Sanctuary (in “The Andorian Incident”) lead to the Andorians warning all Vulcans to leave before destroying the place. The Vulcans are clearly pissed (in their Vulcan stoic way) and blame Archer’s involvement. They suspend the joint Vulcan-Human fleet indefinitely, and put in orders to remove T’Pol from Enterprise.

Enterprise is on it’s way to meet some group of Aliens who work with the Vulcans in some mining business. Archer takes T’Pol on the away mission to meet the Chancellor on this planet. Sort of a last chance to hang out sort of mission. Along with the repercussions of the Andorian stuff and some character development this could’ve been a solid episode.

Unfortunately they also shoehorned all this stuff in with a standard shuttle crash hostage situation thing. The planet they go to is in Civil War apparently. Hey you guys used your standard hostage situation plot in the very episode this is a semi-sequel to!

Sure it has Shran, but he isn’t in it nearly enough, and the episode loses something in that.

NEXT TIME: Bottle Show

In a Gas Giant

2012-02-07T05:38:00.003-08:00

Story: Sleeping Dogs
Written By: Fred Dekker
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

This episode is not terrible really…but it is pretty much boring as possible. Basically the crew finds a Klingon ship trapped in the atmosphere of a gas giant, most of the crew knocked out…and they decide to help.

Mostly it lacks suspense or anything memorable…nothing really sticks with you. That becomes the biggest problem of the first season Enterprise…that the episodes are often not completely awful…but tend to just be non-interesting that add little to nothing new to the franchise, while leaving you bored while watching.

So...not horrendous really, just forgettable. Enterprise BLEW at reintroducing the Klingons as villains.

NEXT TIME: Consequences of P'Jem

Planet Wide Plague

2012-02-07T05:38:00.001-08:00

Story: Dear Doctor
Written By: Maria Jacquemetton & André Jacquemetton
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2002

This episode features Dr. Phlox more prominently than before, which is good...because I think he is rather interesting. This is the first episode to really let him grow as a character too. Billingsley does a good job overall.

In some ways I have a hard time with this issue the episode raises. There are two evolving humanoids on this planet, the more evolved and intelligent race is dying of a plague, the lower evolved species is not. Phlox discovers not only a cure but also that the lower species seems to be evolving in a way that they will probably someday be the dominant species on the planet. I get his stance, and I’m glad they gave some kind of medicine to the people, but I have a hard time permitting a species to die out because you assume that is the definitive evolutionary plan. Who are you to guess that?

A problem is that the Prime Directive was initiated because of mistakes that were made. This show made sure they never made those mistakes mentioned...they just come to the conclusion that they should really make up some kind of rule. It would have been far more interesting to see this crew making the very mistakes that leads to the rule being implemented.

Beyond the main plot, the character development for Phlox is pretty good. We get to see that Crewman Cutler has a crush on Phlox, that was interesting. We also saw Movie Night, which is actually a tradition on the ship I like, sort of like Enterprise’s answer to TNG’s Poker Night, or going to Quark’s or Vic’s on DS9. Seeing Trip crying like a baby during the flick was pretty funny.

Mixed episode. I enjoyed the character stuff for Phlox but despised the outcome of the plot.

NEXT TIME: Helping the Klingons

Unknown

2012-02-07T04:26:00.001-08:00

Story: Silent Enemy
Written By: André Bormanis
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

While Enterprise deals with a mysterious alien ship, Archer and Hoshi attempt to discover what Malcolm’s favorite food is in order to surprise him on his birthday. Malcolm’s parents apparently know their son just about as much as the crew or the audience does. He is a mystery man! So Hoshi is put on this mission. It isn’t nearly as fun as it should’ve been.

The mysterious alien arrives twice, the first time leaves without saying anything, and then a second time when it says nothing and attacks. Malcolm and Trip take it upon themselves to install phase cannons on Enterprise before they arrive at Jupiter Station.

I don’t know this episode is sort of a mess in terms of plot and pacing, and it’s tone is all over the place, with it’s mysterious and scary villains to it’s lighthearted jokey b-plot. It just doesn’t flow well. I liked the mysterious alien thing, but it wasn’t terribly successful in the end.

NEXT TIME: Seeds of a Prime Directive

Daniels

2012-02-07T03:52:00.001-08:00

Story: Cold Front
Written By: Stephen Beck & Tim Finch
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

The Temporal Cold War irritates me. It irritated me from the pilot when Archer says something that sums up my irritation with it’s involvement in the series. He essentially says that history is being screwed around with and manipulating his mission. To me...this flagrant time travel timeline fuck-ups discounts Enterprise (at least the seasons or episodes involved in this supposed war) out of canon. They can’t be right, time travel screwed em up. I guess UPN wanted the show to be more futuristic, but instead of taking that note and showing that the show is plenty futuristic without needing some silly 29th time travel nonsense...Berman and Braga thought they’d be clever and make the Temporal Cold War.

I get the sense that they thought it was a good idea at the time, but they quickly lost interest and it became this burden to make episodes about it. Cold Front is the first real episode to focus on the Temporal Cold War since the pilot, and it introduces the character of Daniels, who poses as a crewman but is really some futuristic time agent.

I didn’t much care for this episode. I just find the Temporal Cold War business to ruin the whole premise of this show. It should have been a show about conflicts with previously established Federation members and showcase how people can overcome the challenges of working together, in favor of lame action stunts and phaser fights with bad plots and silly things like this Temporal Whatsit.

NEXT TIME: Reed’s Birthday

Nausicaan Pirates

2012-02-06T20:04:00.001-08:00

Story: Fortunate Son
Written By: James Duff
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

This episode features Nausicaan Pirates attacking a ship of humans, Enterprise comes to aid, but they soon find that the crew of the Fortunate isn’t as on the up and up as they should be. They are holding a Nausicaan prisoner and plan to attack an asteroid where the pirates often go to chill or something. Enterprise has to talk them out of it.

Travis actually has a little extra to do in this episode, having grown up on a similar freighter as the Fortunate. That was a nice touch, even if his character never really gets much attention after this. He never got the chance to grow beyond the young ensign who grew up on a freighter.

The episode is okay, I wouldn’t say it is going to be terribly memorable or too much fun really, but it could have been less interesting I guess. Holy cow what a sad state of affairs you have when you are saying it could have been “less interesting”?

NEXT TIME: Temporal Cold War Plot Thickens

Akaali

2012-02-04T17:21:00.000-08:00

Story: Civilization
Written By: Phyllis Strong & Mike Sussman
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

The NX-01 encounters it's first fully inhabited Earth-like planet. They are super jazzed about meeting new life and new civilizations, but the people are Pre-industrial. This is prior Prime Directive for Starfleet (although there are Vulcan protocols), so Archer wants to send a team down (in disguise) to learn more about this culture up close and personal. The episode is ultimately boring and unforgettable and features some plot about a mysterious disease and mysterious neutron readings. It is a very lame mystery to be quite honest. And the first meeting with an alien culture for Enterprise is fairly underwhelming.

I personally never found that point of interest that made me keep my focus on the episode. Why did Enterprise suck all the energy out of the room? Voyager had lighthearted moments...granted I thought they weren't always successful, but this show feels so devoid of human characteristics, and yet this show is supposed to be even more about humans than previous series. It just feels so lifeless.

I wouldn't recommend this episode, much like Voyager had done before, this series started with a tendency to have underwhelming mediocre (and dull!) episodes.

NEXT TIME: Fortunate

Comet

2012-02-01T13:31:00.000-08:00

Story: Breaking the Ice
Written By: Maria Jacquemetton & Andre Jacquemetton
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

Despite some of the common flaws the series suffers from, this one is okay. It is average sci-fi at best, but it isn’t horrendous. Unfortunately, for most of it’s run…Enterprise lives off of mediocrity.

The plot has the Enterprise investigating the largest comet ever witnessed by Humans or Vulcans. There are tensions, however, as the crew feels that the nearby Vulcan ship is breathing down their neck…as if they are waiting for Enterprise to fail. It is a story about the two learning to cooperate better, to create a better working relationship. I don’t know if it accomplishes all that, as I feel like even though the episode manages to show them working together, their relationship is essentially the same following this episode.

I do think that the introduction of T’Pol’s arranged future husband was a nice touch, and the fact that she is already hoping to not follow the traditions is interesting. It adds something to the character, even if it does not pay off for a long while. It also began the relationship between her and Tucker. Again, this will not really begin to pay off for a while, but the spark of their mutual understanding which leads elsewhere later starts here.

The visual effects are actually tremendous, but they don’t save the show from weak scenes like building the snowman or answering the dumb questions kids sent them.

NEXT TIME: Mysterious Disease

Shran

2012-02-01T13:30:00.003-08:00

Story: The Andorian Incident
Written By: Fred Dekker
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

Despite having a pretty generic hostage plot, this is really the first good episode of this series. It brings back the Andorians, and their reveal in the pre-credits teaser is kick ass. I like that it took a race that was totally neglected in the 24th Century Stories, but had been introduced on TOS as a long established race in the Federation, and reintroduced them for a new audience and fans alike.

But obviously what I really love about the Andorians in this episode, and in almost all of their appearances, is the actor playing the lead Andorian: Jeffrey Combs. How could I not love a new performance from Weyoun! (Let us reflect on how this is the third great recurring character brought to life by this actor in the Trek Franchise). I just love everything he touches. There are definitely some bad episodes with Andorians, but having Combs in the part always makes the episode have some bit of entertainment value. It also steps up Bakula’s game, as he spars well with Shran.

I think the episode did many things right, it brought in a new race of aliens that doesn’t contradict TOS, made the Vulcans have a bit of shadiness to them, and gives us plenty of interesting character developments...for our main cast, for the Vulcans, and gives us not only a race that desperately needs exploring in the Andorians, but gives us a main Andorian to focus on played by one of the best actors in all of Trek.

NEXT TIME: Learning to Work with Vulcans

New Earth

2012-02-01T13:30:00.001-08:00

Story: Terra Nova
Written By: Antoinette Stella
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

The Terra Nova Colony, the first Earth colony outside the solar system, lost contact with Earth decades prior. Enterprise goes to investigate what happened to them. It is boring as hell. Seriously I can’t remember this episode at all. It is completely forgettable and boring.

Theres like this strange race of humanoids and all this like past histroy stuff...but none of it grabs you as particularly interesting. It just isn’t a noteworthy episode. It lacks anything exciting or even thought provoking.

Enterprise sadly stays this dull for the bulk of its run. Even when it improves in the third season, it deviates from what started to work for them and fell back into the trap of dull or mindless episodes. This one is definitely in the dull category.

NEXT TIME: P’Jem

Tucker’s Knocked Up

2012-02-01T13:18:00.002-08:00

Story: Unexpected
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

What starts as an interesting take on meeting a new alien race turns into a mess rather quickly. I mean since Voyager, no probably even the Dominion War, we’ve been meeting races that are hostile…we were rarely given the treat to meet new races that weren’t “the enemy”. Enterprise had been carrying on this xenophobic tradition, which I do not agree with. This episode had the Enterprise meet up with some lovely alien race, and then screw it up with making them IMPREGNATE Tucker.

Give me a break…they are ripping off the plot to “Junior”? It is really unfortunate that they had to go and take it in the direction they did…you couldn’t just show like a first contact gone well? Couldn’t make it about our characters truly learning to seek out new life and civilizations? Nope gotta have some kinda wacky plot device or the people won’t watch!

Shame.

NEXT TIME: Novans

First Class M Planet

2012-02-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

Story: Strange New World
Written By: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

This is an okay episode. Enterprise discovers an M-class planet; their first in the series. From what they can tell it is uninhabited. They land, and explore a bit, and seem to be enjoying it. But at night those camping out are in for a rough stay, as a big storm picks up. Then it becomes kind of muddled as the characters start turning against T’Pol…they think she is conspiring with some Rock creatures on the planet.

I think this episode could have really worked if the writers didn’t always work under the misconception that every episode had to have some action angle, or some kind of villain or thing for the characters to fight against. What if we just show how these early explorers truly went about exploring a strange new world…sure find something unusual, a mystery to unravel, even go for the bizarre storm angle…but giving us some kind of alien threat or whatever is unnecessary.

Berman’s Trek stopped dealing with the mysteries of the universe. There used to be shows about odd things or unique elements in our galaxy, and they would be character driven at times too…Berman’s Trek is more action based, with less emphasis on substance.

So is this one terrible? Not really. I just think it suffers from the same problems that a lot of Voyager did. I would’ve really preferred a real story, or a real mystery, rather than the forced and hard to buy “we can’t trust T’Pol” plot.

NEXT TIME: I hear there’s gonna be a baby!

Axanar

2012-02-01T13:16:00.001-08:00

Story: Fight or Flight
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

Everyone is settling in...figuring out issues with their quarters, how the ship works...and Archer is getting itchy for exploration and meeting some first contact action. When they finally come in contact with a ship, it doesn’t respond to any hails and seems to be adrift. They decide to use the opportunity to explore the inside of an alien ship.

I would say that despite the rather meandering pace of this dull episode, there are some things I do like. Bakula, for example, is pretty good as a Captain. Unfortunately as the series progresses, he loses a little something (luckily I think he regains it in Season 3, but for the bulk of season 1 and 2 he just looks puzzled most of the time). I don’t blame him for losing something, the scripts were as perplexing as he makes them look in his face, but early on he was giving his best, and like I said, he starts trying again as the third season begins.

The episode also gets things like this early group of explorers chomping at the bit to do some exploring. And the way people aren’t quite settled yet was pretty good. Sadly I think the episode is a little too slow and uninteresting, beyond some character moments, to really be completely successful.

NEXT TIME: Rock Aliens

NX-01

2012-02-01T12:58:00.001-08:00

Story: Broken Bow
Written By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
Year: 2001

Paramount must have some bad management. Voyager limped into its final seasons, its ratings weren’t nearly as good as when it had began, and the movies weren’t even making as much money now…Star Trek was starting to look like it was tired. I attribute this to the fact that Berman and Braga were tired by this point. They spent years working on this program. Berman had been working on Star Trek since TNG began. I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to move on. But Paramount pushed, probably reminded him how much money he is making with Star Trek and he decided to go ahead and create and produce a whole new series of Trek.

The results are this prequel (George Lucas made a bunch a money…right?!). The feature length pilot gives us all our main characters, some recurring, and basic plot elements. Essentially Berman wanted to start fresh, so they struck all Voyager sets, and instead of redressing them as they had with TNG and Voyager…they built all brand new sets. They also set it before TOS so everything would seem new again.

But the problem is they built brand new sets…that look exactly like the old ones, and the writers didn’t know how to do anything new so the plot involves a “Temporal Cold War” which essentially means (and Archer even says something like this in the episode) that events are already being altered. So this show isn’t the best example of a prequel, of how the Federation came to be…because this stupid time war from the future completely changes how things will work. I bet Rick Berman and Brannon Braga praised themselves for their ingenuity here…by having a temporal war that screws up the timeline we can do what we want…like the Federation isn’t certain or something. But it doesn’t go anywhere. In this episode or in the future. It is also never interesting. Actually showing how really different cultures came together to form peace in the galaxy? THAT would have been interesting. But instead of that they went with the Temporal Cold War, with Suliban, and really lame reintroduction to the Klingons.

When Doctor Who returned in 2005, a whole episode was used to reintroduce the Daleks, the Doctor’s longest and scariest enemies. It really set the tone for how scary and badass they are, by making sure the whole episode focused on the Dalek alone. They should have done that with the Klingons here. Just wait…don’t bring them in right at the beginning. Leave them out, then hint about them, then BAM bring in the big bad of the series and show how ill-prepared this new ship really is.

Much like Voyager before it, I don’t think the basic idea behind this series was a bad one…it just got executed as badly as it could. The pilot is dull, it isn’t the worst episode of any Trek series, but as all of the pilots go, it isn’t terribly interesting.

NEXT TIME: Settling In

The TNG Films – A Recap

2012-02-01T12:17:00.003-08:00

I had no real desire or reason to write a recap of the original cast films, as far as I’m concerned they spoke for themselves, and in my mind the 6 films make up a final season to the original series (and the animated series too). It has its ups (2,3,4,6) and downs (mostly 5 but a bit of 1)…but all in all it is a solid end for that cast. But for the films of the TNG cast, I really feel the need to go a bit more in-depth about the over-arching problems that are evident in all of the films…something I couldn’t quite put into each review on its own.

So what went wrong? Well…age. The cast is all old and tired and don’t look as interested, and the series itself had sort of run its course. See with the original series, they got canceled, and while there were issues in the final season, they were mostly due to behind the scenes troubles…TNG and the films had proven the series really could continue on had it been given a chance.

But TNG had been given seven long years, it had its time in the sun, and instead of moving on, they went onto a film series. Despite the fact that I feel like the last season of TNG isn’t as solid or fun to watch as the preceding seasons, there were still plenty of good moments and episodes to enjoy, and the finale was a wonderful bittersweet end to that show.

So the cast looks old and tired, and unlike the TOS films they don’t use that to their thematic advantage. They also played up the duo of Picard and Data, trying to mirror Kirk and Spock for some reason, even though that wasn’t what TNG was…it had stepped out of the shadow of the original series, and did so in no small part because it used a different dynamic than the Kirk, Spock, and sometimes McCoy grouping…they were an ensemble cast, and while keeping Picard as the lead is not a problem…everyone beyond Data gets overshadowed in the supporting cast. Riker is useless and barely there (granted he was directing 50% of the movies but still), Geordi is forgettable, Troi and Crusher seem like just extras, and I have no idea why they continually brought Worf on board from DS9 if he was just going to use up screen time and lines that could’ve been distributed to other cast members.

Worf is actually a big sticking point for me here. Because I feel like Data got a decent story in First Contact (and annoying but big part in Generations), I feel like Insurrection and Nemesis should have shifted focus over to other characters. Data’s main storyline could’ve been wrapped up with the Borg, the cybernetic angle totally works with him involved…but Insurrection actually CURES Geordi’s blindness, and his reliance on electronic doo-dads to see. So we should get a bit of focus on this often overlooked character. Nemesis should have focused on Riker and Troi leaving, and Picard dealing with change or something. So WHY the hell do we keep bringing back Worf when fans of his can see him WEEKLY over on DS9. The reason of course is that casual fans might question where he is, or maybe the reason is that they just wanted to get the ol’ gang back together. Whatever the reason is, I feel it was a mistake. The reasons within the film for his coming back gets less important with each film, and he just shifts focus slightly from other cast members.

The biggest problem is tone. They made TNG a show with a much more intellectual tone than the original series had had. TOS could be intellectual, but it was often more about the action. TNG was a different kind of show, with some loose arcs, and a more diplomatic nature, it focused on an ensemble rather than a hero, and it proved to be every bit as successful as the original series. So when they decided to make the films featuring this cast: they threw all of that out of the window. We lose the intellectual angle for a more 80s action film angle. So now Picard is like Steven Segal…and he is NOT the actor for that role at all. We lose so much about our characters simply because they dumbed it down for some mainstream audience that was NEVER going to exist for this cast. It is unfortunate, but I really don’t think this cast was ever going to have the same box—office pull as the original. I think to get big numbers in the box office they had to have certain things that were already pretty popular…like bringing in Kirk to hang out with Picard (money gimmick), or bringing back a popular villain like the Borg.

Villains are something I really lament about these films. On film, and sometimes even in the series, I always felt like the Romulans were underused. In TNG they do get a fair shake, but for the most part the Klingons often overshadowed them. I happen to love the Romulans…their sneaky nature, their cold attitudes, the way they interact with Starfleet or Klingons…they are a lot of fun to me, and I feel like they really worked as a great thinking villain, a wonderful counterpart to the aggressive Klingons.

I think proper Romulans should have been the villains for at least one of the TNG films, and I think they could’ve been really strong for a “one last outing” kind of film. They were always this persistent annoyance, someone that was always scheming to get control of the Alpha Quadrant. So I think since their presence had been such a big factor in TNG, they really should have been given some closure in the finale of TNG films. But instead the Romulans play second fiddle to the Remans, who play second fiddle to a Picard clone.

We got the Duras sisters in Generations, but again they just play second fiddle to a mad scientist. The Borg were the only villains they really managed to do right. Maybe there weren’t too many people to choose from, but I just think the villains were so uninteresting in the films, and the problems they had to deal with weren’t to captivating either.

So I guess I just needed to rant one more time about how badly this series fell apart. It is a shame that they couldn’t have just ended on “All Good Things…”, but where there’s possible money there’s a possible bad film.

NEXT TIME: Before the Beginning

To Absent Friends

2012-02-01T12:17:00.001-08:00

Story: Star Trek Nemesis
Written By: John Logan
Series: The TNG Cast Films
Year: 2002

And so ends the journey of the crew of the Starship Enterprise-D/E. It is a shell of Wrath of Khan, with its revenge plot and darker tone. It is filled with plot holes and bad ideas and characters acting out of character throughout. The opening scene has Riker and Troi tying the knot. Now they are married. That’s it, no development for them. Worf has apparently left his role as ambassador from the finale of DS9, and rejoined Picard’s crew. Wesley is also at the wedding, apparently having left the Traveler. Having Wesley at that wedding is nice, but I would have liked it if he had a bit more to do, maybe NOT cut his one scene with lines. These things do not bother me, they can be so easily explained away myself that I don’t need the film to spell it out for me.

The plot then actually begins. Picard apparently has a clone. This clone is mad at him for some reason, and the Federation too (no clue why for this at all). End plot. Our villain is just seeking revenge against Picard, and then even more revenge against the whole of the Federation for no particular reason, and when you don’t even bother to answer simple character motivations…why even make the film?

The whole cast seems old and tired, but they never call attention to the aging like the TOS films had…which cheapens it a bit. Unlike the original series itself, the movies had really utilized the opportunity for character development. You really got to intimately know Kirk and Spock and McCoy…the TNG films went the opposite route. We got to know this cast for seven years, and then we get to the films and silly plots and little developments are made for Data and Picard, while the rest play the “anyone of us could interchangeably say this line” game. Waste.

And for some reason they find a prototype for Data, and despite finding a similar android to Data 15 years prior and having REALLY BAD RESULTS, they decide to put it all together. No one questions it, no one thinks twice about it. And all it does is give us a retard version of Data. They also try to evoke “Wrath of Khan” a lot with its revenge plot and things like Data/Spock giving their life to save the ship. But the themes are missing, the results are less touching, and the big thing really missing from this (and the other TNG films) is HEART.

The first time I saw this film I hadn’t been watching Trek in a while. I had sort of lost touch with this series I loved as a kid. I can tell you that the first time I watched it I did like it. The more Trek I began to watch, the more little things began to bother me when thinking of this…then when I really watched it again, I couldn’t really figure out what it was I even liked in the first place. It is sort of like re-watching the Star Wars prequels, that first time you see Revenge the Sith you think its awesome…but when you watch it again, and aren’t just in awe of the special effects (which by the way look GREAT in “Nemesis”, which only makes its terrible story more depressing) you are sort of left cold by the bad dialogue and characterizations.

This is the last Star Trek adventure to really take place in the 24th Century (Voyager had ended, and Janeway is even seen as an Admiral here…yikes they PROMOTED HER?), so it sort of serves as a finale to that era, the era that began with this very crew 15 years prior. While I think that is fitting, it is unfortunate that this film isn’t that good, making it a bad end to that era.

NEXT TIME: What Went Wrong

The Battle For Paradise Has Begun

2012-02-01T12:16:00.002-08:00

Story: Star Trek: Insurrection
Written By: Michael Piller
Series: The TNG Cast Films
Year: 1998

The biggest problem with Insurrection is that it starts off so good and then just falls completely apart. It has this nice mystery plot, it feels a lot like the TV series did, and uses the ensemble cast better than the previous two films...then all of that changes about 35 minutes in. They solved the mystery too early, and as a result the film has nowhere to go. It ends up being this weird mish mash of a romance plot for Picard, Data hanging with some kid, and other characters doing something or other for a little while before a dumbed down action plot kicks in.

The Ba’ku are kind of annoying, they act so high and mighty about using machines, yet they use machines....just not computers. Their whole village is filled with simple machines to help their gardening and whatnot. Liars! The girl Picard has a relationship with is just too pompous for me to actually care for her. And the Ba’ku raise way more questions than they answer more often than not.

The villains are weird stretchy faced plastic surgery allegory monsters. They are also something that brings the movie down a bit. Why would the Federation associate with these people? The whole premise is hard to swallow. The Federation is going to Relocate 600 people off of a Planet in order to let a few more people on? Just put the other people somewhere ELSE on the damn planet? I find it hard to believe the whole Federation Council would fall for this scheme of the Stretch Face Folk without doing ANY research.

The whole Data gone rogue thing would have been a really interesting story, but instead they wrap that up pretty fast and replace it with a bullshit Data wants to have a childhood story. That is really lame. Geordi can see with his eyes for the first time, so there’s an interesting route for a plot…oh but it kind of tapers off and loses steam. The Riker and Troi re-igniting the old love could have been a decent story, but instead they chuck it up to nothing more than a joke about his beard (newsflash everybody saw them kiss when he had a beard before you WRITERS). So he shaves the beard. That’s the whole story. It ends there. No redevelopment of their love, she just flirts and he reciprocates.

Crusher could have had some development. Her background with Picard could have had some effect on this new relationship that was brewing on the planet. Nope. Nothing. Worf shouldn’t have even been in the damn film. Like anybody was going to question it if he wasn’t there. He’s on DS9 by this point…let him stay there. People get a weekly dose of Worf; do we really need him to be in this film just to sit in the background? He doesn’t DO anything anybody else could have done; he just takes up screen time from someone else who is equally neglected (with a silly Klingon puberty running gag premise too). But he has to be brought back, because some people know he used to be on the show.

So the film was a total wasted opportunity for character development. Having a slower plot was not a bad idea; they just didn’t take advantage of it properly. The action is lame, the one-liners are abysmal, and at times things look pretty B-movie budget. There are some good moments, and when it tries it does feel more like TNG than the two previous films (as much as I enjoy First Contact it does NOT feel like the show) but it doesn’t maintain that quality long enough.

NEXT TIME: Picard’s Clone

Resistance is Futile

2012-02-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

Story: Star Trek: First Contact
Written By: Brannon Braga & Ronald D. Moore
Series: The TNG Cast Films
Year: 1996

This is what the TNG movies should have been like to begin and end with; unfortunately this is the best the film series got. The Borg travel back in time and may stop Human’s first contact with the Vulcans. So there are two stories that are going on. The first is the Borg infiltrating the Enterprise-E, the other is the Engineering crew of the Enterprise trying to make sure that Zefram Cochrane makes his first flight; so first contact is not averted.

It is an enjoyable film, filled with action; some great make up, the best villains to come out of the Next Generation, and a decent plot. It is not without its flaws, but it is enjoyable enough that you can easily disregard those flaws while watching. For instance if it had been me, I would not have destroyed the Enterprise-D in the last film, I would have had it cannibalized by the Borg here. We don’t know this Enterprise; it’s new and different, and unfamiliar. We watched the Enterprise-D for 7 years. We know it and love it. I think there would have been more of a reaction in seeing that ship eaten up by the Borg, and its destruction in that scenario would have been for more effective than the crash landing in the previous film.

The Borg are awesome, and I love this film, despite obvious plot holes and some characters acting contrary to what we knew them to be for so many years. Somehow this movie has a pace and a style that manages to overcome its many missteps, because it is so much fun to watch. And the Borg Queen is simultaneously creepy and sexy all at the same time. Don’t ask me why.

NEXT TIME: Ba'ku

Two Captains. One Destiny.

2012-02-01T12:15:00.001-08:00

Story: Star Trek Generations
Written By: Ronald D. Moore & Brannon Braga
Series: The TNG Cast Films
Year: 1994

Star Trek: Generations is an okay film. It is enjoyable if your not thinking too hard, but once you start to question anything, it all falls apart. Soran is an decent villain, but he is nothing special at all. I would have preferred a straight Duras sisters story instead of some weird tale where they kinda work with/for him and just die in an anti-climax explosion from the last film’s climax.

I feel this way about the whole movie. Things just happen. Nothing too interesting does, but things DO happen. A lot of it doesn’t make sense, and it is very disjointed. Data’s emotion chip storyline is mostly god-awful. Picard’s family storyline doesn’t really pay off in anyway. And the Nexus is kind of a boring sci-fi cliché.

The whole sell of the movie hinges on Kirk and Picard getting to meet. Unfortunately, when your entire film is based on the idea that two people separated by 80 years meet, then you need some bad sci-fi cliché to make it happen. And it isn’t all that satisfying to have them meet. I do think Shatner and Stewart make the best of what they can with this script.

I like the sequence where Kirk dies to save the Enterprise-B, even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense. But I think the film would have benefited if he ACTUALLY died there, not in some old men fighting on a rickety bridge ending.

I can watch Generations, and if I don’t think about it I can enjoy it, but it just is not up to the level of quality that TNG usually maintained. Mostly I enjoy watching it for the nostalgic feeling I get remembering the excitement I had as a kid seeing these two titans of my childhood meeting. In that sense I like the movie, but when you think of the other Star Trek story written at the same time by the same writers you begin to realize that“All Good Things…” was far better.

NEXT TIME: Battle with Borg and Time

Star Trek: Voyager – The Whole Series Recap

2012-02-01T11:51:00.001-08:00

When they were coming up with a new Star Trek series in the mid-90s, the Producers of Trek decided to set the series in the Delta Quadrant, far from Starfleet. Not a bad plan. They also wanted to create friction between characters so they created the idea of the Maquis. They planted the seeds of the Maquis in TNG and DS9, both shows were forced to create episodes around the idea of the Maquis and their development, and both took the assignments and made some great episodes. Voyager then took the idea...and dropped it. They forgot all about the Maquis except for the occasional mention or episode about them. Then in the Delta Quadrant nothing all that new or different happened. Sure different alien races, less missions from Starfleet command...but they were still going to conventions and symposiums and having diplomatic meetings and pretty much doing exactly what they would do in the Alpha Quadrant. And it was boring and episodic even though it’s premise was ripe for arcs.

This is the oddest thing about Voyager. DS9 relied heavily on character growth, arcs, long standing story lines, recurring characters, and yet the series didn’t have a stable time slot. It was syndicated; its time could change often and could do so from market to market. There was no guarantee when it would be on. Voyager was given the run of UPN. It had a network, and a supportive one. It was a network that launched with Voyager being a key element in that launch. So the fact that every episode was either written or re-written to fix everything up at the end so that the next week things would be exactly as they were began this week…makes absolutely no sense to me.

The friction between the Maquis and the Federation crew could have EASILY been a great source for stories, and we could have watched as these two crews actually grow to like one another, and work well together to get back home. But instead the characters agree to work with each other too easily and too fast, only to once and a while says, “Hey! Remember how we were Maquis?” Why have TNG and DS9 do all that work to set up a premise you have no real intention of using?

Being trapped in the Delta Quadrant could have been a brilliant arc, the whole Year of Hell thing is a fantastic idea, for a whole SEASON…not two episodes with a reset button at the end. Actually put your characters through hell, and we might want to root for them, but instead the series just wrapped everything up each week, and our characters never grow or learn or anything. They just run into generic problem after convoluted problem after Borg attack after generic problem, only to finally make it home by some fucked up time meddling magic doorway ending.

The first three seasons were irritating due to their bad scripts filled with boring characters ridiculous plots, and an all around bad atmosphere. Season 4 started off with the hope of being a much better show, but it quickly fell apart and by Season 5, the episodes were just dull mediocrity. I don’t think they were as irritating with the bad story lines as the first three seasons, but from Season 5 on there is a definite sense that no one put any love or attention or care into this particular series.

I think a lot of the flaws in Voyager stem from the bad production team. When you read or hear about the cast and crew of Voyager, they never have glowing things to say. The original cast is always talking about how they know they were apart of something big, and the TNG and DS9 cast and production staff often talk about what a fun atmosphere and good working relationship everyone had. People pulled together to create great TV...and then there’s Voyager. The writers don’t seem to talk to each other, the cast don’t seem to be friends, the producers seem like they wouldn’t always back stories 100%, or they wouldn’t go the full nine when they needed to…I mean…what the fuck happened here?

Voyager is a failure of a series. It lasted seven years, but it limped through most of it. Unoriginal ideas and stories as well as uninteresting characters. Under the rule of Rick Berman, the franchise was taking a turn for the worse, but one last series would put the nails in the coffin.

NEXT TIME: Back to the Next Generation

Star Trek: Voyager - Season 7 Recap

2012-02-01T11:50:00.003-08:00

Another season of Voyager means another batch of mediocre and boring episodes, with only a few gems sprinkled in. Luckily...this is it. The end of the line for the Starship Voyager, who makes the final leg of its journey home, finally (and quite ridiculously) making it’s way home. But it was a long journey for the crew, and a longer journey for the audience...this show felt like an eternity!

So...episodes I liked. Well “Flesh and Blood” was pretty decent, even if I wished the holograms had not been turned into villains for the sake of action...but I guess only the crew of Voyager and Janeway are aloud to be the good guys in this TERRIBLE fucking show that didn’t understand the Trek philosophy at all. So I guess you could say I liked that one. I actually really liked “Lineage.” It dealt with the issues of becoming a parent and worrying you may make the same mistakes your parents make really well...and the performances from McNeill and Dawson were pretty solid (quite surprisingly if you ask me). “Author, Author” was a fantastic social commentary that managed to not be totally obvious (like “Repentance” was for the death penalty issue) and still be funny, dramatic, and carry some major weight for the Trek universe and the future of Holographic rights. There were some episodes I didn’t hate other than that...but mostly it was just same ol’ mediocre Voyager.

The series comes to it’s big bombastic end in the absolutely ridiculous and awful “Endgame”. The show’s ending is pretty appropriate for the kind of show Voyager always was. It rehashes ideas from TNG while having an irritating plot with bad ideas and a quick fix to get Voyager home...all with the Borg involved! It is everything wrong with the show wrapped up in 90 minutes.

The final season was no better or worse than any other season, and it continued the trend started in Season 5 of weekly doses of mediocrity. It would be nice to say that they picked up their game near the end, but no one was particularly interested in doing that. As a result, I’m not particularly interested in returning to this series again.

NEXT TIME: Whole Series Recap

Getting Home

2012-02-01T11:50:00.001-08:00

Story: Endgame
Written By: Kenneth Biller & Robert Doherty
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Awful. Absolutely awful. That pretty much sums up the bulk of Voyager...but it also is a great description of the finale, “Endgame.” I’m pretty sure the alternate future timeline finale had been done before on TNG...

Essentially Janeway is a col hearted bitch even in old age, she hasn’t mellowed at all. She devises a plan in her old age to go back in time in order to hurry the journey of Voyager up and make sure Seven of Nine lives. Fuck all the other people who died on that journey home, even that Asst. Chief Engineer Lt. Carey who she lamented the death of so much at the end of “Friendship One”...he wasn’t worth saving? Oh but her “family” isn’t complete! Her family on Voyager only includes main cast members, recurring characters aren’t real family. She is a bitch. Fuck timelines, fuck strangers, fuck all races...as long as Seven lives.

The alternate future is irritating how similar it is to the anti-time future from “All Good Things...” Like Worf, B’Elanna is working with the Klingon Empire. Like Geordi, Tom is now a holonovelist. Kim is a Captain much like Crusher. Chakotay and Seven are dead like Troi. Not a whole lot of job options in the 24th Century, huh?

I just find the idea of a time-meddling future Janeway insulting. Insulting to the very notion of Trek. This whole thing just feels wrong to me. Janeway is only cavalier when it suits her. She is all about protocol with her crew, but she breaks rules whenever it helps her in the moment. Mulgrew adds insult to injury with her awful performance as the character. Nice mix of arrogance, smugness, and bitchiness...with a touch of homicidal maniac.

The plot is a mess with time travel nonsense, a ridiculous love story between Seven and Chakotay, the Borg Queen (once again played by Alice Krige, Susanna Thompson apparently getting the boot), and silly action packed destroying the Borg stupidity. I just couldn’t give this the benefit of the doubt, or turn my brain off enough for this story to work.

After seven years of looking for quick fixes to get home, the only way they actually could get one to work is if Janeway travels back from the future. To me that just seems to prove how shitty she is as a Captain. She couldn’t do it without fucking up timelines. And the big win at the end feels a little deus ex machina, too easy a win. And things get a little paradoxy.

Ridiculous garbage. Pretty appropriate way for this series to end.

NEXT TIME: Voyager Season 7 Recap

Master of Disguise

2012-02-01T10:27:00.001-08:00

Story: Renaissance Man
Written By: Phyllis Strong & Mike Sussman
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

The Doctor and Janeway were at some Medical Symposium (yeah sure whatever, the crew of Voyager are just getting invited left and right to conferences in this area of space where they are always unknown), when they are attacked by some aliens. The Doctor has to play master of disguise and keep posing as Voyager crew members to try and appease the aliens that are holding Janeway hostage.

This one is okay I guess. It focuses on the Doctor...so there is that plus. I don’t know, it is a decent little espionage episode, but I wasn’t as pleased as a Doctor-heavy episode usually is. At least it had the aliens from the daydreaming episode. I don’t know, not bad, nothing too special either.

Although I do like that the list of things the Doctor says to people after he thinks he is going to die. He has a list of Janeway’s questionable command decisions, his feelings for Seven, and some other things with the rest of the crew...that was pretty funny.

NEXT TIME: The Final Insult

Destiny

2012-02-01T09:40:00.001-08:00

Story: Homestead
Written By: Raf Green
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

This is the episode in which Neelix finally leaves Voyager. Goddammit...there are only 2 episodes left! Goddamned producers! You screwed me! Well anyways...Voyager discovers Talaxian life signs in an asteroid belt, with Talaxians living inside an asteroid. They meet them, and find that their home in the asteroids is under threat by a stronger enemy who plans to destory the asteroids for fuel, whether the Talaxians leave or not.

Neelix obviously connects with his people, and wants to help them, and when diplomatic measures fail...he decides to leave Voyager in order to help them defend their home, after Tuvok convinces him by paying him compliments (in order to get rid of him I’m sure).

It is actually a decent finale for a character I’ve made no secret about not really enjoying. He certainly gets a stronger out than Kes, who got shoved into the B-story while the A-story focused on Seven reintegrating herself as a human. At least Neelix’s story made sense and was believable. I really could see this being the one thing to make him finally say goodbye to Voyager. Nothing would have swayed him except his own people.

So Neelix has left, with just one last appearance made in the finale. Voyager is almost home.

NEXT TIME: The Last Doctor Episode

Yet Another Shuttle Crash Episode

2012-02-01T08:07:00.001-08:00

Story: Natural Law
Written By: James Kahn
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Chakotay and Seven are going to a conference (yeah okay whatever), and SHOCK! their shuttle crashes. I guess the producers wanted to play “Voyager’s Greatest Hits” as they wind down their final season. Crashing and destroying as many shuttles as possible without having anywhere to get new shuttles yet constantly having a full stock and plenty of materials to build whatever new ships they want is a mainstay of this terrible damn show that has no idea how to play the “stranded with no help” angle of the show.

So Chakotay and Seven meet the natives on this planet, and of course they have a little impact on them. Prime directive whatnot...You just feel like Trek was out of ideas by this point. They should have ended Voyager in Season 4 and just let the franchise take a break. But as these things tend to go...they wait too long to close up shop and things get stale. Trek feels very stale, but as the newest film proved, it was really the writing and production team that was getting stale...there is still plenty of things that can rejuvenate Trek.

Meanwhile Paris has to take Pilot lessons and can’t have his Shore Leave! Yeesh. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with this series.

NEXT TIME: Neelix Leaves

21st Century Probe

2012-02-01T07:18:00.001-08:00

Story: Friendship One
Written By: Michael Taylor & Bryan Fuller
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

One thing I’ve noticed about Season 7...the pre-credits teasers are so boring and awful and don’t peak my interest to stay tuned at ALL. Whatever. Since Starfleet just got contact with Voyager over a comm link, they haven’t wasted anytime barking orders and missions at Voyager. They are given a mission to find this old Earth Probe for some reason or another. When they get there they find the probe has caused more damage than it was ever meant to. It seems that its message of friendship and shared technology lead this planet on a self-destructive path that left them all permanently damaged by the anti-matter radiation. Voyager is forced to figure out a way to correct the situation that a pre-Prime Directive Earth caused, while the people on the planet hold the away team hostage

This episode marks the death of Lt. Carey, who had first appeared all the way back in the pilot. He was a vital member of the team, which is way he was in so many episodes, and it is unfortunate no one is going to break the temporal prime directive and be able to save him in the future.

The episode is okay. It didn’t thrill me, but it was certainly not the worst Voyager fare. I just wish Voyager’s “average” episode had the strength of an “average” TNG episode. I’m not asking for DS9 quality here...just a more interesting better paced “average” episode. But these shows can be so dull and leave you cold so often, that I just can’t be thrilled by this series.

NEXT TIME: Primitive Civilization

Doctor’s Holonovel

2012-02-01T05:49:00.001-08:00

Story: Author, Author
Written By: Phyllis Strong and Mike Sussman
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

The Doctor has written a holonovel, and uses his phone call to the Alpha Quadrant (just go with it) to talk to a publisher. But he is provoked by Tom Paris into letting him see the holonovel. Paris is a little weirded out by the novel, and the crew each take turns playing the game and finding it to be a little uncomfortable...and then Janeway tries it out and calls the Doctor out on portraying the Voyager crew in such a terrible light, even if he changed the names. Janeway also acts completely surprised that the Doctor seems to feel oppressed as a hologram...really? He acts like he is oppressed all the time.

Anyhow when Tom tampers with the program a little to showcase the Doctor in just as bad a light, he can see that maybe he has hurt his friend’s feelings, and tries to rework it in a way that may be a little less offensive. But the story is published despite the Doctor asking for time to make revisions...and his rights as a hologram have come into question...according to Federation law Holograms have no rights.

The other story includes a new open comm link with the alpha quadrant, and people are able to finally have their first conversations with their friends and families back home. This allows for there to be calls with people like the publisher, and to have a sort of courtroom drama over the phone with the Alpha Quadrant.

The story does its best with the material. The holonovel is funny, then the courtroom drama aspect is just as effective as “The Measure of a Man” was for proving Data is a real person and therefore should benefit from equal rights. It was nice to finally get closure once and for all on the Doctor’s rights as a person (and I liked that it felt not forced since they didn’t declare all holograms people just yet), especially because his character has been the strongest the series has had to offer since Day One. Clearly he has made a major impact on holographic rights for the future...it was sort of like this is that first stepping stone.

Nicely done.

NEXT TIME: A Mission from Starfleet

Q’s Son

2012-02-01T04:46:00.001-08:00

Story: Q2
Written By: Robert Doherty
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Poor John De Lancie makes his final appearance as Q in this awful story that puts an end to the ridiculously bad “Q on Voyager” tales. This one features the son born in “The Q and the Grey,” which was also a TERRIBLE episode. Q should have just ended his story with “All Good Things...” a strong finale for both TNG and Q. But Voyager ruined that by bringing him back.

De Lancie is doing his best, but this script is godawful. Then you have his real life son playing Q Junior...he is not so good. The character is silly and the acting isn’t too good from the younger De Lancie.

So ends Q in Trek. Shame that he goes out this way, he was once a strong trickester kind of character, now he is just annoying. I admit that on TNG there were some bad Q-focused episodes, but at least he went out on a high there. No he ends his time with the franchise on a real annoying low.

NEXT TIME: Publisher’s Rights

Seven’s Emotions

2012-02-01T04:04:00.001-08:00

Story: Human Error
Written By: Brannon Braga & André Bormanis
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Seven is researching her social skills in the holodeck, practicing being more human. It could have been a good episode, but the writers threw in this left field romance plot of Seven digging Chakotay. WHAT? Since when have they had any kind of relationship? Why would they go for her and Chakotay when the Doctor and her makes a ton more sense. Whatever. Then her emotional practice overloads her implants. Can’t have a character study without some kind of life threatening plot point. Looming death equals drama. Plot wise they lost me...but you get to see Jeri Ryan out of the Borg catsuit and into hair down human clothes...and that is a good thing. You have to cling to what you can with this show.

I also had a sort of nerd quibble about the holodeck. If the holodeck can just project clothes onto people, as it does for Seven in this episode, why the FUCK do people play Dress-up all the time when going on to the holodeck? You don’t need to dress up...the computer will do it for you! Weird.

I wanted this to work, because I tend to like Seven-focused stories, but it just didn’t work for me.

NEXT TIME: Q’s Final Appearance

Quarra

2012-02-01T03:24:00.001-08:00

Story: Workforce, Part II
Written By: Kenneth Biller & Michael Taylor
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

The excitement continues in part two, in which Chakotay continues his efforts to liberate the Voyager crew from slave labor. Tuvok has begun to realize he is not who he is claimed to be, and he mind melds with Seven (just before being arrested) who also begins to see signs that something isn’t right. Janeway is sharp as ever as she just moves in with some guy and screws Chakotay over. Meanwhile on the ship, the liberated Torres tries to remember who she is.

Despite the usual hiccups and obstacles, the Voyager crew comes through in the end and everything returns to normal with no one to ever be affected by, or even mention, this experience again.

This two parter was a little tough to get through. It is two slow moving badly paced episodes that isn’t nearly as interesting or as entertaining as the production team probably thought it was. These episodes are pretty pointless if you ask me. I think VOyager should have saved all two parters and feature length episodes to be about the show’s basic premise: getting home. Why did they waste all of these slots on superfluous episodes that have no real impact on that premise, and not use the big event episodes as an excuse to speed up Voyager’s journey?

NEXT TIME: Overwhelming the Borg Implants

Slave Labor

2012-02-01T03:05:00.001-08:00

Story: Workforce
Written By: Kenneth Biller & Bryan Fuller
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Voyager hits a mine and is leaking radiation onto the crew, the Doctor can stabilize the patients but the radiation will continue to do damage. So Janeway order escape pods, and they are eventually kidnapped, drugged, and brainwashed into working labor for some cruel alien race. Luckily Chakotay, Kim, and Neelix were on an away mission, and are able to fix up Voyager with the help of the Doctor (as the ECH) and save the day. Luckily it takes time so this can be dragged out to two episodes. The premise feels like a one episode kinda premise. I guess they were able to take their time with the story this way.

I did like that they slowly reveal what happened to the crew, and it just starts off with the crew working in these big factories. But I don’t care whether this crew is working factory jobs or screwing up the delta quadrant with it’s presence.

The cliffhanger is irritating. As Chakotay and Neelix are able to beam Torres back to Voyager, but when Chakotay needs an emergency beam out immediately after, some sparks fly on the bridge for no reason and they say the transporter is out. Fuck you lazy writers.

NEXT TIME: Rescue

Black as Night

2012-02-01T01:46:00.001-08:00

Story: The Void
Written By: Raf Green & James Kahn
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Voyager ends up in another Void. They sort of act like this is new, but it has happened before. Anyhow the void has trapped several ships, many of whom were driven to attacking and stealing from any new ship that enters the void. Voyager decides to try a new plan of attack...an alliance. They use the principles of the Federation to try and get out of the void. It is a very Star Trek idea, but the episode isn’t terribly exciting or entertaining. It sort of reminded me of the TAS episode, “The Time Trap,” when the Enterprise got caught up in the Delta Triangle and found this Council of races from all walks of life (Human, Andorian, Vulcan, Romulan, Klingon, Orion). That episode was better.

Voyager isn’t even as strong script-wise as a 22-minute animated cartoon which was discounted as canon by the franchise’s creator (though screw his canon, that show is good). You probably won’t pull your hair out due to inane characters, but you might be a little bored.

NEXT TIME: Kidnapped and Put to Work

Klingon Zealots

2012-01-31T16:11:00.001-08:00

Story: Prophecy
Written By: Michael Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Voyager encounters an old Klingon Battle Cruiser filled with Religious nutjob Klingons whose ancestors started this long Trek four generations prior. They initially attack but stop once they learn of the Federation-Klingon Alliance (proof being in Torres)...unfortunately they quickly decide Tom and B’Elanna’s baby is their savior, and blow up their own ship to get onto Voyager and follow the baby. Freaky.

Soon Kohlar (the leader of this ship) reveals that he has no clue whether or not this baby is the savior...but it would be nice if Torres just plays along so his people don’t feel really shitty about their religion and feel like this trip was a waste. Harry, meanwhile, if being pursued by a Klingon lady, though Neelix eventually takes her off his hands. Not a lot of meat on that story, but it is there.

It was actually just nice to hang with the Klingons again. It is sort of refreshing to get an interesting group of aliens, instead of the lame generic races that constantly crop up on this particular series.

NEXT TIME: Another Void

Dead Men Walking

2012-01-31T13:52:00.001-08:00

Story: Repentance
Written By: Robert Doherty
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

Not to subtle allegory on the death penalty. Voyager helps some ship carrying death row inmates, and Voyager’s crew begins to debate this alien’s legal system...from the death penalty to who is actually convicted with the death penalty (rich can pay off victim’s families).

It is pretty tedious. I’m all for allegories on social issues, I just don’t like them to be so obvious. Or maybe I just didn’t think the execution was entertaining or even thought provoking. If you have a thought on the death penalty (I think I have a hard time justifying it) this would not sway you in the slightest, or even get you thinking about the subject.

The aliens turn out to be forced into being violent to be punished or something. I don’t know, it wasn’t keeping my interest long enough to give a shit.

NEXT TIME: Savior

Inner Child

2012-01-31T12:23:00.001-08:00

Story: Lineage
Written By: James Kahn
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2001

B’Elanna discovers she’s pregnant, and her and Tom begin to deal with their future parentage. Tom worries about becoming a father...and B’Elanna has to deal with who own childhood trauma issues. She had a rough time growing up part Klingon, and she doesn’t want her daughter to have to deal with that, so she considers removing strands of DNA to make her daughter not appear Klingon at all. Tom disagrees...and there is the drama of the episode.

I actually liked this, it dealt with a situation a lot of young married couples deal with when they are facing that first child. And B’Elanna deals with some of her major demons...the fact that she has held her self back more than her Klingon heritage actually did, although her dad was sort of a deadbeat too.

It is nice to see them not turn a nice simple drama into a big dumb action movie. So often they ruin a good story in favor of schlock. Well done.

NEXT TIME: Carrying Convicts

Temporal Distortions

2012-01-31T11:54:00.000-08:00

Story: Shattered
Written By: Michael Taylor
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Space anomaly, Chakotay jumps through time. Bored! Time jumps and space anomalies are just worn out. The only thing this episode does is shift through the different eras in Voyager’s history...and that just showcases how little characters have changed over the years.

This episode made me think how Janeway has just demoted and promoted Tom Paris on a whim, and promoted Tuvok without any kind of Starfleet approval...then why are Chakotay and Torres STILL wearing that “provisional” rank insignia? Why not just promote them with no authorization? Janeway’s a bitch.

At any rate, overused plot line and reliving Voyager’s past aren’t really my cup of tea.

NEXT TIME: Torres is Pregnant

The Hirogen Outpost

2012-01-31T10:53:00.000-08:00

Story: Flesh and Blood
Written By: Bryan Fuller and Raf Green & Kenneth Biller
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Voyager answers a Hirogen distress call, and finds a Hirogen Base that is essentially one big holodeck, using the very tech Voyager gave the Hirogens at the end of “The Killing Game, Part II”....and the Hirogen are practically all dead. Voyager then tracks down a Hirogen ship overtaken by Holograms...they are able to beam over and treat some Hirogen...but the Doctor is kidnapped by the ship of holograms. Essentially the holograms want the Doctor’s help to fix their programs and find a new home away from the Hirogens.

I find it someone ridiculous that after all this time and all he has been able to prove and achieve...Janeway is still the biggest fucking racist in the world when it comes to the Docotr and holograms. He has proven to be a person, just as much a person as anyone else (and more interesting than anyone on that ship to boot)...and yet every time there is an issue of human rights for holograms, she is CONSTANTLY on the wrong side. Hell even when the Doctor arrives with the holograms and asks for peace...Janeway has this look of disappointment. Clearly for her, the only good hologram is a dead hologram. I really think she is the most unenlightened person in the 24th century.

Then you get someone like B’Elanna who joined the Maquis in a similar way that the Doctor joins these holograms...and she still refuses help? “That was different” Everyone on this show seems intent on NOT acknowledging the life form status of holograms even after years of living side by side with the Doctor (and hell if Data is a life form by Starfleet standards then holograms count too!) I just don’t get it, why would Voyager side with Hirogens over Holograms.

This is one of those odd feature length episodes of Voyager, one that is feature length for no real reason. I actually kind of liked this one, because its feature length and focuses on the Doctor. I don’t understand why Voyager had these mid season feature length episodes, but at least in the times they did them they focuses on Seven and then the Doctor (the two strongest characters/actors on the show).

I think it dealt with the allegory of minority rights quite well actually. The holograms want freedom and rights, they try to develop Religion (which is always scary to me, an atheist), and they struggle to find who they are, and even taking their fanaticism too far. I always find it surprising when this series shows signs of competence, even if it is unfortunate that the Holograms turn out to be bad guys (just like everyone else this ship meets).

NEXT TIME: Chakotay and the Time Shifts

The Command

2012-01-31T05:37:00.001-08:00

Story: Nightingale
Written By: André Bormanis
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Voyager has stopped off on an uninhabited planet for repairs (acknowledgement that this ship has been in a fire fight every week for seven years? woah!) and while looking for Dilithium, Kim makes contact with a ship that was being attacked. He saves them, but not after their entire command crew has been killed. Voyager, on the other hand, has become buddy-buddy with the very race that was attacking. Even though both have indadvertedly involved themselves in a civil war, but I find it odd that Janeway scolds Kim a bit for doing so. Awful Captain.

Anyhow Kim takes this opportunity to have his first real command on this mission to help these folks deliver their medical supplies. He gets a little over-zealous in his command...and starts to wear thin on everyone. I guess they are trying to portray that he isn’t quite ready for command, but by this point that is just sad. Seven years as an Ensign he still can’t lead anyone? It just shows how stagnant this show and it’s characters are.

Then it turns out that it isn’t a medical transport, but a prototype for a cloaking ship. Of course...Voyager is constantly meeting liars and cheats and being fooled into their schemes. Gullible idiots. Also how sad is it that this show can’t have any nice aliens, they all turn out to be some kind of villain, or at the very least have some flaw that makes them seem less than the gallant Voyager crew. It is on the verge of xenophobic, which is the exact opposite of what Trek is about.

A subplot involving the Borg teenager Icheb developing a crush on Torres. Whatever.

NEXT TIME: Holographic Carnage

Doctor Connects to Seven

2012-01-31T04:40:00.001-08:00

Story: Body and Soul
Written By: Eric Morris and Phyllis Strong & Mike Sussman
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

For some odd reason Ensign Kim, Seven of Nine, and The Doctor take the Delta Flyer out to study meteors ad comets. I’m sure they are vastly different in the Delta Quadrant and that this is a necessary mission for Voyager. Unfortunately they run into an area of space run by a race of aliens who have major issues with “photonics” i.e. The Doctor. So the Doctor hides inside Seven of Nine's Borg Implants. It is an okay episode, it isn’t going to blow anyone away, but watching Jeri Ryan’s Picardo impression was worth the price of admission.

On Voyager a really mini-subplot about Tuvok going through Pon Farr takes place. Luckily it doesn’t really try to be anything too big...which is good because we got Pon Farr in TOS, don’t need to see it again. It also makes sense that he’d have it, it has been 7 years since he could have theoretically had it last. This story crosses over into the A-story when Tuvok’s hologram of his wife is disrupted by the same Photonic-hating aliens.

I think at the very least it seemed as if both the Doctor and Seven got a little bit of growth in this episode, and things weren’t just reset back to normal with everyone returning to their standard position. I mean it isn’t some huge change, but it was nice to see them share a meal. I think it is a massive shame they didn’t explore a Doctor-Seven relationship beyond the platonic one, they are vastly more interesting than Tom Paris and B’Elanna Torres.

Decent episode.

NEXT TIME: Kim Offered a Ship

Barclay Hologram

2012-01-30T20:03:00.001-08:00

Story: Inside Man
Written By: Robert Doherty
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Yay! A Barclay episode! Guaranteed to be a little bit better than a standard Voyager episode. Starfleet sends a hologram based on Barclay to Voyager, in order to explain a plan to possibly bring Voyager home faster than expected. Schultz performance as “Reg” the hologram based on Barclay is fantastic, so wonderfully confident...the complete opposite of the real Barclay who is perpetually nervous (who even plays “What About Bob” to Troi who is on vacation).

Unfortunately some Ferengi have corrupted the “Reg” file and are using it to try and figure out a way to capture Seven for a profit. It is a silly plot point that only slightly hurts the story...but luckily you get Schultz, so it isn’t a total loss.

I find it almost odd that Troi comes off way more useful on Voyager (a show where most of the main cast don’t feel useful) then she usually was on TNG! But Barclay showcases exactly what a counselor in the 24th Century is useful for.

Anyhow it is a decent episode, not the best Voyager/Barclay episode, but having him is always a blast for this show.

NEXT TIME: Holo-Phobic

Gar

2012-01-30T19:09:00.001-08:00

Story: Critical Care
Written By: James Kahn
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Some guy named Gar made a series of shady trades, and Voyager has been caught up in the mix, because they are constantly susceptible to con artists. In the process he kidnapped the Doctor and traded him to a ship where they treat patients in a sort of class system, treating them in order of importance in society instead of saving the most lives in the right way. The Doctor can’t live that way, and focuses on giving the proper treatment to all patients. Meanwhile Voyager tries to track down the Doctor and Gar.

It has Larry Drake as a guest star, which I find amusing because I enjoy Darkman. It has Picardo’s best efforts and a solid premise, but it feels a little tired. Voyager just feels like a very worn out TNG by this point...well by Season 5.

So average episode with a decent enough premise and a Doctor-focus...if you just enjoy focusing more on Picardo it is a winner, but don’t expect something really special.

NEXT TIME: Ferengis Want Some Seven

Assaulting Maquis

2012-01-30T17:39:00.001-08:00

Story: Repression
Written By: Mark Haskell Smith
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Someone is attacking former Maquis members on Voyager and putting them in some kind of weird coma. This is actually an effective way to make a horror movie episode, certainly much better executed than that Neelix ghost story episode from the previous season. I mean I wasn’t worried for main cast, but the scenes of these crew members being attacked were pretty well shot.

I sort of guessed that Tuvok was the one doing before it was revealed, so the shock was’t there for me. He is being affected by someone else (some weird Bajoran guy) in order to exact revenge on members of the Maquis on Voyager. It is somewhat interesting...but a little late.

Then the Maquis have some mind control thing reacted so that they take over Voyager. Why some Bajoran guy would ever put in some mind control thing for this purpose I don’t know. It sort of ruined the whole episode for me.

The Maquis conflict should have happened at least 6 years prior...but here we are in season 7 and they finally remembered to do a story on the Maquis. I think it is a little late in the series history to try this story out.

NEXT TIME: The Doctor is Kidnapped

Race

2012-01-30T16:44:00.000-08:00

Story: Drive
Written By: Michael Taylor
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Somehow Voyager’s unlimited resources come in handy as Paris and Kim hae built a second Delta Flyer...and in testing it out, they meet a woman in a small ship...and race her. This meeting leads to Paris learning of a much bigger race...and he decides to enter the Delta Flyer II in it. Janeway approves this race...because like the writers she also saw Phantom Menace and wanted to make that kind of money. This race is actually like a boring version of the Pod Race.

Tom screwed up though, he entered this race and forgot all about his big romantic plans with B’Elanna. He kind of hurts her feelings...because he’s being a douche. She does join him in the race instead of Harry. But thats okay, he makes it up to her by marrying her in the end of the episode. Note to guys: you get your girls mad just put a ring on that finger and all is forgiven (perfect way to start a relationship!) So they are hitched now. Woo.

I didn’t enjoy the race sidetracked b-story of the girl sabotaging her own ship, but whatever, who cares anymore? I think this show has totally jaded me. It is not the worst thing I’ve seen, but I just don’t care about the characters or events on this show enough to really get into the episodes, even when they don’t suck hardcore.

NEXT TIME: Teero

Seven’s Life In Danger

2012-01-29T20:29:00.001-08:00

Story: Imperfection
Written By: Carleton Eastlake and Robert Doherty
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Apparently...this episode was initially meant to take place a few slots later in the schedule, but for some odd reason it was moved up to second episode of the season. This is one of those weird decisions I really don’t get, for a couple of reasons. First...it caused continuity problems, like it features the Delta Flyer II and Tom Paris is wearing a wedding ring...but his marriage and the intro to that ship don’t happen until the next episode. Secondly, it is a Borg Malfunction episode (about Seven)...and it is now placed immediately after the big two-part Borg episode (which featured a plot of Borgs not functioning properly in the Collective). So it being moved up just seems really wrong to me. That really has no baring on the episode’s quality...just I find these odd decisions in production to be somewhat perplexing and interesting. How does that happen?

Anyhow Seven says goodbye to three of the four Borg children she has cared for, and begins to showcase some errors in her implants. She is pretty much dying. It is...again just dull. I really don;t want to be so bored by these episodes...but this cast and the editing on this show has lost all of it’s luster. It just feels sloppy.

You know Seven isn’t going to die, you know that Voyager will find the cure, you know the risks are all pretty much false. Then you have the slow pace in the editing, the cast not really giving their all, and music that tends to just make action scenes that could be entertaining slower and less interesting. Remember at the beginning of Voyager’s fourth season when the music was really good? What happened?

I think Voyager not only wore out the Borg, but they wore out the “our crew member is dying we have to save them!” storyline. They did okay with the “learning to face death” story, but it took way to long to get into that. Ugh...about 22 more episodes left.

NEXT TIME: Torres and Paris Get Married

Resistance is Happening

2012-01-29T20:06:00.001-08:00

Story: Unimatrix Zero, Part II
Written By: Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

When we last left off, Janeway, B’Elanna, and Tuvok were willingly assimilated (with this neural suppressant in their brains) by the Borg in order to inject a virus which will help several Borg Drones who live as individuals while regenerating live as individuals when not regenerating, and separate themselves from the Hive mind. We pick up where we left off, with the away team assimilated and working to inject the virus...but Tuvok’s neural suppressant loses it’s control, and he becomes a drone himself...giving the Queen access to all of Voyager’s security codes. Meanwhile Seven finds a bit of romance in Unimatrix Zero with her apparant old flame from her former days there.

The Queen...I hadn’t talked about Susanna Thompson in her previous two appearances. She lacks both the creepy and oddly sexy elements of Alice Krige’s performance in “first Contact”. Krige’s performance was so damn strange and sensual, that it was constantly interesting to watch. Thompson is just stiff and boring.

That goes for the episode as well. Much like the initial installment of “Unimatrix Zero,” this episode is just slow and boring, with sloppy action scenes that lack any kind of urgency or interest. As far as I’m concerned...this is the story where the Borg had finally worn out their welcome. There were some weak Borg episodes prior to this, but here they are just old hat, nothing new to offer, but nothing entertaining on even the most basic level anymore. The music sucks half the energy out of the room too.

In the end Voyager wins, Janeway, Tuvok, and B’Elanna return to normal, and the Borg are on the Drones of Unimatrix Zero are on their way to leaving the Collective indefinitely. Happy day.

NEXT TIME: Bad Implant

Star Trek: Voyager - Season 6 Recap

2012-01-29T15:41:00.001-08:00

Season 6 is in many ways just a continuation of Season 5. The writing is average or bad...and the results are almost always boring. There are still plenty of stories with the potential for greatness...but all too often lazy writing, plot holes, weak acting, mediocre direction, and slow pacing bog down the episodes...and they end up losing what charm they may have had.

I like to think I’m being fair in my reviews of Voyager, I don’t discount every episode, because each season has a few standout episodes. This season’s standouts include “Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy” which was hilarious, “Pathfinder” which was well written and featured the fantastic Dwight Schultz reprising his role of Barclay from TNG (and got us out of Voyager for an episode), “Life Line” for more Picardo and Barclay, and bits of “Collective” and “Child’s Play.” But mostly this season continued the trend of Season 5, of mediocre and dull episodes.

This season was the first season of any Star Trek series to premiere on it’s own since TNG’s fifth season as DS9 finished it’s seven year run the previous year. I think DS9’s ten hour final arc makes this humdrum going through the motions season of Voyager seem even more mediocre in hindsight. You think of the incredible highs reached by DS9 as it came to an end and compare it with the ultimate average-ness of all things Voyager in it’s penultimate season...and you have to wonder where the disconnect was.

By this point in the series run it was clear the series wasn’t a happy place to work. Beltran is on record as saying this season was not a terribly fun experience, and early on long time Trek writer Ronald D. Moore didn’t last more than three episodes working on this particular series...and the Head Writer and Executive Producer of this show was his former writing partner! Clearly there were plenty of bad unhappy moods backstage, and it is a shame that people treated this like a bad job, and not like a labor of love the way DS9 clearly was treated. TNG had a happy set too, but DS9 was clearly like a pet project for many involved.

Then the season just ends with a big Borg cliffhanging episode that left me with the same underwhelmed feeling I felt throughout the bulk of the season. I find it increasingly odd that this show seems to have a fan-base as big as it seems to.

NEXT TIME: Assimilated

Borg Malfunction

2012-01-29T15:39:00.001-08:00

Story: Unimatrix Zero
Written By: Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Several Borg slip off to a sort of Fantasy World where they can live as individuals while regenerating. The Queen wants to put an end to this, but these Borg contact Seven of Nine, who once spent a lot of time in “Unimatrix Zero”, and she is able to take Janeway in (with Tuvok’s help) and convince her to lead Voyager on a mission to free these Borg from the Collective or something. Janeway, B’Elanna, and Tuvok infiltrate the Borg Cube for this mission in order to exploit this apparent weakness and inject the Borg with a virus, and all three are assimilated...and Voyager leaves them. Cliffhanger!

I actually don’t even care in the slightest. The pacing was all off in this one. I’ll admit to being able to go with most of the Borg episodes Voyager cooked up, even when they felt sort of overused and not nearly as strong as TNG had made the Borg out to be...I still was able to find something to enjoy in those episodes. But this one just left me cold. I was barley interested in what was going on...and everything from just your standard Borg fight fare, to the Queen, to the boring Voyager crew...I swear the Chakotay/Janeway relationship is the most depressing thing. They can disagree on things, but no matter what Chakotay just follows her blindly. It’s tiring!

Having Voyager crew members assimilated also felt a little tired...Trek first great cliffhanger was that...and it left such a mark on the franchise that no one forgot it. Only difference here was that it seemed like a plan to be assimilated, and that it was more than just one person being assimilated. And because they are main cast, we know they are coming back.

Personally I didn’t care for this, but I’m sure Voyager fans and Borg enthusiasts would disagree.

NEXT TIME: Voyager Season 6 Recap

Ghost Story

2012-01-29T13:17:00.001-08:00

Story: The Haunting of Deck Twelve
Written By: Robert Doherty, Raf Green, and Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Neelix relates a sort of ghost story to the Borg kids as a long winded explanation as to why Voyager is shutting all of it’s main systems off before entering some Nebula. I think I just don’t care anymore. The story wasn’t terribly interesting, you have to listen to Neelix the whole episode, the kids are sort of goofy...and the story isn’t nearly as scary or thrilling as you’d like.

The kids can’t seriously be scared about anyone’s potential deaths in the story...because they know who is still alive on the ship...and the story isn’t scary to the audience, because they know that these writers take no risk in killing off anyone (and we saw them all prior to the story so we know they lived). It is just a lazy boring story that lacks any kind of depth or creep factor to make the story feel worthwhile. The writers don’t even try most of the time.

If the writers don’t care, why should I?

NEXT TIME: Exploiting a Threat to the Collective

The Doctor is Sent Home

2012-01-29T12:26:00.001-08:00

Story: Life Line
Written By: Robert Doherty, Raf Green, and Brannon Braga
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Voyager gets a message from home, and the Doctor is informed that Dr. Lewis Zimmerman, his creator, is dying. The Doctor can see a way of treating his creator and asks Janeway to send his data-stream home in order to treat Zimmerman. So in this episode we get double the Picardo, Barclay, and Troi...and a lot less of the rest of the Voyager crew. Solid plan for success.

I like Picardo’s crusty old bastard version of Zimmerman. I also just enjoy seeing Barclay...and how bad is Voyager’s crew if Troi makes me feel nostalgic? You really get to see how far the Doctor has come since the beginning of Voyager, he has really expanded beyond his initial treat and deactivate programming.

I definitely enjoyed this one, and I think this is really what the show should just be. I know that makes little sense, but I just find these kind of stories to be far more effective than most other Voyager episodes.

NEXT TIME: Black Out

Kes Returns

2012-01-29T11:47:00.001-08:00

Story: Fury
Written By: Bryan Fuller & Michael Taylor
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Kes returns to Voyager and immediately begins to attack the crew and make her way to the Warp Core, to suck up energy to travel back in time (?) to the first season. She apparently wants to stop herself from developing her powers and go back to her home world...only Tuvok seems to see something is amiss on the Season 1 Voyager.

It is a shame this is the return Kes gives to the show. It is a dull episode with a silly plot and makes Kes the main villain of the story. I’m still unhappy they dropped her from the cast in the first place, but to bring her back, as a villain for a made up reason and have her travel back in time in a made up way with a story that ends up not being real (alternate reality stories with no affect on the real timeline SUCK), it is just a shitty way to bring back Kes.

I wouldn’t have done it this way, I would’ve brought Kes back as this advanced higher being, much the way she had left. She’d be this advnced higher being, maybe manifesting herself as corporeal...and trying to reconnect with her people, but not finding the old connections there...and deciding that she really can’t be on the ship or something. I mean I never would’ve had her leave in the first place, I would have shit-canned Neelix...but whatever. Maybe she should’ve have, in her non-corporeal advanced being state...become a recurring character on Voyager...like Q was for TNG, and have her get more powerful each time, and keep helping the ship get closer to home...Kes could’ve been the deciding factor for the series finale! Nope...she comes back once as a sort of psuedo-villain.

I don’t know I just found this episode to be weak, especially since it jaded me even more on the way the writers/producers handled Kes in the end. They dropped her unceremoniously and then brought her back for a one last shitty episode.

NEXT TIME: Zimmerman Meets the Doctor

Kelis

2012-01-29T09:08:00.001-08:00

Story: Muse
Written By: Joe Menosky
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

B’Elanna has crashed the Delta Flyer (oh yay another crashed shuttle story) on some pre-industrial civilization and has become the inspiration for a poet on this planet. He writes tales based on the logs on the Delta Flyer’s computer. Then when Torres awakes...she exchanges tales and info for his epic poems in exchange for any material he can muster that can help her fix the Flyer.

It is another boring episode. I have to give credit to Voyager, they went from inane ridiculous stories to just plain boring episodes. Hey they aren’t quite as stupid and irritating as they were, but the stories are generic and the execution is almost always weak...it just feels apparent that no one really cared about the series, and they were just going through the motions each week.

The season at times feels even more humdrum than Season 5 did.

NEXT TIME: The Revenge of Kes

Scam

2012-01-29T07:22:00.001-08:00

Story: Live Fast and Prosper
Written By: Robin Burger
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Three con artists are posing as Janeway, Tuvok, and Chakotay are conning people into goods without payment. The same three people previously conned Voyager into taking some bum heating coils in exchange for goods to help their so called “orphans”. Neelix is partly to blame for Janeway and Voyager getting blamed for stealing stuff around the area, as he basically told the cons all about Janeway (although he skipped her homicidal tendencies).

The episode isn’t awful..it isn’t fun...it isn’t exciting...it isn’t anything...except easy to skip over. Voyager just feels tedious in how many dull and average episodes it can spew out in a season. So nothing too special here, this should have been a more fun and entertaining kind of episode, but it is just boring.

NEXT TIME: Torres Inspires Poetry

Janeway’s Special Attention

2012-01-27T21:57:00.001-08:00

Story: Good Shepherd
Written By: Dianna Gitto & Joe Menosky
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Seven uncovers the fact that three crewman on the ship are pretty crappy. Which is weird when you consider this whole crew is pretty shitty...how bad are these THREE? Essentially they are lazy and slow and don’t really give a damn about their duties. And they aren’t Maquis either...they are pure Starfleet. This episode is sort of like Voyager’s version of “Lower Decks” only I don’t really give a shit about these three crewman. It also has similarities to that Voyager episode in which Tuvok tries to train some Maquis dopes. This one has Janeway trying to train some Starfleet dopes. And they are dopes.

I kind of liked the smug asshole though, because he doesn’t give a shit about Voyager or Janeway or any of the shit people on the show care about...much like me. His plans on Voyager were for a year, a requirement for the school he really wanted to get into...but Janeway had to fuck that up didn’t she? I didn’t really care about the two, one is an over the top hypochondriac, who lacks the charm of Barclay. The girl is a Bajoran with low self esteem. The characters are just uninteresting.

The story is Janeway takes thee three on an away mission to teach them how to be awesome...but it lacks any kind of depth or character to really make it entertaining. The three characters are average, even the smug guy isn’t terribly interesting...I just like it when people stick it to Janeway.

NEXT TIME: Trio of Con Artists

Icheb’s Home

2012-01-27T20:06:00.001-08:00

Story: Child's Play
Written By: Raf Green
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

You get the sense sometimes that the writers of Voyager would come up with some storyline...like they’d plant the seed for an arc in some episode, and then instead of actually working on the arc...they just ditched it and said “fuck it skip to the end!” That is the case with this episode. A few episodes ago, Voyager picked up some Borg children, they would serve as surrogate children for Seven. They had one B-story about Seven and the kids in the previous episode, now they are already doing an episode where she has to return one of them to his proper parents. We are supposed to feel for Seven and her feeling of losing this kid...and we are supposed to feel for the kid who doesn’t want to leave Voyager...but we haven’t gotten to know this kid or his relationship to Seven at all. They forgot to do any storylines about that before doing the end of the story. Typical lazy writers on this show...they get story ideas but forget to do the legwork in character and story development to make their payoff episode worthwhile at all.

I would have really dug a season arc about Seven and these kids and then have the inevitable end where she must take them home, and the awkward situation that presents. But they rushed it, got right to the end and I felt less for the characters as a result.

My gripes aside...I did like this episode. It was a solid enough story and Ryan does a good job with the material...it is just a shame that I really didn’t care if the kid went or stayed...I didn’t really know him, so who cares. I also feel lukewarm to the end in which Icheb is a weapon against the Borg. It makes sense, but I was sort of digging the idea that Seven’s issues with the parents were purely based on her own misgivings about losing Icheb, making her reservations to be proven true sort of discounted the story. They do that a lot though. And it wasn’t entirely unsuccessful. I dunno.

NEXT TIME: Inefficient Crewmembers

Jhet'leya

2012-01-27T19:28:00.001-08:00

Story: Ashes to Ashes
Written By: Bryan Fuller
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

An alien arrives at Voyager claiming to be a former (dead) crew member of the ship. She claims to have been resurrected and transformed into some alien being. Sure. Then we are stuck listening to her and Harry and other members of the crew reminisce about the good ol’ days that never happened. The problem with a story like this is that there was no character. We never saw her before, so having her return and having the characters act like they all liked her so much feels very false. This show never took risks, it rarely let you get to know recurring characters (few exceptions like Vorik), and the never killed off a main or recurring character, so having one return just means nothing. If this was like TNG and it was Yar that returned in some new form (oh wait...) then it might have some emotional resonance, here it is just really phony and hollow.

The much smaller B-story involving Seven and the Borg children and how she deals with them is interesting and kinda funny, but it really is sidelined for this completely un-emotional and completely fake A-plot.

NEXT TIME: Seven’s Maternal Instincts

Return to Fair Haven

2012-01-26T19:42:00.001-08:00

Story: Spirit Folk
Written By: Bryan Fuller
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

The characters in the Fair Haven holodeck program begin to suspect Tom Paris is a witch or something when he keeps fiddling around with things in that world in fornt of the people without ever turning them off. It is sort of like a witch hunt version of the much superior “Elementary, Dear Data.” You know the one where Moriarty starts to realize he is a hologram of Sherlock Holmes?

I just don’t find the Fair Haven program to be particularly fun or interesting. Why this would be the program of choice for the Voyager crew I have no idea. I totally saw the value in the programs on DS9. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Vic Fontaine? But hanging out in an Irish Village filled with stereotypes and people who beg for money or fear God and witchcraft? I just don’t see the appeal. Then the hologram shoots the computer and the safety protocols go offline...HOW IS THAT AT ALL FUCKING POSSIBLE?

This brings me to another big Voyager gripe. The characters are able to do anything. Why is Tom Paris an expert on 20th Century History, and Mars history, and being a pilot, and Naval History/Procedures, and programming complex holodeck programs, as well as being a competent medic? He is an expert in anything he is does. And that is how all characters are in this series. Anything they do in any particular episode they are instantly an expert in. In TNG or DS9 characters were often good in a particular field, and would be assigned to jobs accordingly. Characters are assigned to whatever whenever in this show because the writers can’t keep track of who is good at what...or they are just writing meatier roles for the actors they happen to be friends with. I’d go with the latter really.

So yeah, it is a dull episode that is a little too goofy and pointless in the end.

NEXT TIME: Ballard

Children of the Borg

2012-01-26T18:14:00.001-08:00

Story: Collective
Written By: Michael Taylor
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Voyager encounters a Borg Cube that has been severed from the Collective and is run entirely by five child drones. The drones are able to take a few hostages from the Delta Flyer and attempt to negotiate an exchange: the prisoners for Voyager’s deflector array. The children are erratic and don’t function with the skill of the standard hive mind...so their negotiations don’t go very well.

Clearly being severed from the link has made them more individual then they’d like to admit, especially the leader of the small band of child Borgs. Seven clearly is able to establish a bond with the kids, and eventually helps foil the leaders plans and takes the other 4 back to Voyager (along with an infant Borg...though I wonder if they will ever mention that again, they seemed to have forgotten it’s fate by the end of the episode).

Seven now plays Foster mom to these kids I guess. It isn’t a bad development for her character or for the series really, although we’ll see how it goes. I think the episode was decent enough. As much as I feel the Borg are overused on Voyager...they really are one of the things this show manages to succeed at more often than not. I don’t think all the Borg episodes are good, but at least you have a memorable villain that doesn’t need to be reestablished in each episode...and if you turn your brain off they look cool!

So I give this episode a sort of half thumbs up. It wasn’t tremendous, but I know it could’ve been much worse.

NEXT TIME: Supernatural Holoprogram

Smackdown

2012-01-26T16:13:00.001-08:00

Story: Tsunkatse
Written By: Robert J. Doherty
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

During a time of shore leave, Voyager decides to enjoy Pro-Wrestling. I can only imagine this premise came from UPN...deciding to make some stupid fucking crossover between Smackdown and Star Trek: Voyager...two of their more popular shows. Having the Rock in the episode only validates this theory. The biggest issue here is that the two shows couldn’t be more different. This is not a crossover that should have happened (granted in my opinion most crossovers shouldn’t happen). Essentially Tuvok and Seven are captured and thrown into the fighting ring. I feel like I’ve seen this story in fantasy shows too often.

The episode does feature guest stars in J.G. Hertzler, better known as Martok from DS9 and Jeffrey Combs, better known as Weyoun/Brunt on the same show (he later had a recurring role as Shran on Enterprise too). I like both of these actors (and their prior contributions to Trek), but I don’t think they could’ve saved this episode’s bad story and premise at all.

NEXT TIME: Icheb, Mezoti, Azan, and Rebi

Horrific Flashbacks

2012-01-26T13:41:00.001-08:00

Story: Memorial
Written By: Robin Burger
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

The crew begins to have memories of atrocities they themselves once committed, but their memories seem unsupported by any physical evidence. At first only an away team have the memories...but then the whole crew begin to have the vivid dreams of the actions they may have once taken.

Once they get tot he planet, they discover that they took no part in the actions and atrocities they thought they had...they are being affected by a synaptic transmitter on a memorial that doesn’t just memorialize a tragic event...it makes people relive the event. It is actually a clever idea, and I’m glad they touched on the issues at hand and didn’t turn off the memorial in the end. Adding a warning buoy to let people understand what they are getting into was enough closure for me.

I had low expectations about this one and it’s premise, but I’ll admit to being pleasantly surprised with the end result.

NEXT TIME: The Rock

Aliens Without Music

2012-01-26T12:42:00.001-08:00

Story: Virtuoso
Written By: Raf Green & Kenneth Biller
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

A race of aliens who believe themselves to be superior to Voyager and it’s crew in every way, are shocked when they hear the Doctor singing...as they’ve never heard music before. The Doctor becomes a sensation on the planet, a huge pop hit! So much so that he even decides to resign his commission and stay on the planet, until the very person who convinces him to stay creates a superior hologram who can hit more notes than the Doctor himself.

For a Doctor heavy episode, this one isn’t as strong as I would’ve liked or hoped. It is a little too much of a Voyager execution all around. I liked what little they actually did with the Doctor and Seven, but like I say...it is very little.

Decent if only because Picardo is always giving his all, but mostly it is just average.

NEXT TIME: Atrocities

The Weird Planet Displaced in Time

2012-01-26T06:14:00.001-08:00

Story: Blink of an Eye
Written By: Scott Miller and Joe Menosky
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Year: 2000

Voyager encounters a planet with an odd shape and moves through time much faster than usual. A second on Voyager is a whole day on the planet. You see the planet go from early savage beginning to a technologically advanced civilization throughout the course of the episode.

The whole episode has a decent premise and everything, but the execution is dull. I mean I want to like it, but the writers and actors don’t give me much to like. Why didn’t they just quit Voyager? Nobody was enjoying the damn show...not as many fans dug it, the writers room was so miserable that Moore couldn’t stay longer than three episodes, and actors Robert Beltran and Garrett Wang have made it clear that the atmosphere on set was far from pleasant and happy. They only kept this show going because it was Trek and they feared a letter writing campaign...sure it had steady ratings, but why didn’t Berman and Braga just pass the torch off to someone else, who can either make this show enjoyable or start their own spin-off.

None of that has much to do with the episode, I just find the show to be so tedious most of the time. Even when they have a cool premise like this...they make it less interesting somehow. I just chuck it up to the bulk of the production team not really caring. There is even an interesting story involving the Doctor on the planet for many year, but that is all just brushed over. They just did the show because it was a job.

NEXT TIME: The Doctor a Celebrity